Chapter 12
Sometimes he would make jealous remarks that made me want to laugh and cry at the
same time.
“Kira, why is Noah allowed to go after you, but I’m not?”
Noah was waiting for me on the other side of the boardwalk.
I don’t know what excuse he gave his own university, but he kept flying down to Los Angeles.
“You just loved the power trip of having me chase you. You thought no matter what you did, I would never leave. You took my love for granted.”
He looked uncomfortable and didn’t reply.
Whenever he found me, he would follow me to my classes and sit with me in the
cafeteria.
I ran over, and he immediately took my hand.
Before I could answer, another voice cut in.
Leonardo was skipping too many classes. If he kept it up, he’d have to repeat the year or risk getting kicked out.
“Sorry, but her schedule’s booked. You’ll have to get in line.”
Leonardo looked exhausted, like something terrible had happened.
“How long has he known you? How many years have we known each other?
I was completely fed up, unable to understand what Leonardo was thinking.
He would just stand under my dorm window for hours, refusing to leave no matter what anyone said.
Stung by the truth, Leonardo got even more defensive. “Okay, I messed up back then.
After six months of playing the field and a quiet winter break, he suddenly started showing up everywhere.
I was momentarily stunned. I nodded, then shook my head.
The two of them stared each other down, the air crackling with tension.
“I can just be myself, without my mood swinging up and down based on someone else’s whims. And then I realized-‘Maybe that all-consuming love from my youth was just
my own immaturity. ”
But it can take a man much longer to realize what he’s lost, leading to a delayed
emotional reaction.
He started sending me things-flowers, bags, jewelry. I refused them all.
As we crossed the street, I glanced back.
Leonardo looked sincere as he suddenly softened his voice, pleading. “But even if you treat me like a stranger, don’t I have the right to try and win you back?
Leonardo’s voice was laced with an emotion I couldn’t name.
Leonardo’s reaction seemed particularly delayed.
“I wanted to see your school, see how you’re doing in LA.”
The evening wind off the ocean was strong. It gave me a slight headache. I thought for a long time before I answered.
People came and went along the beach. Some saying goodbye, some meeting for the
first time.
“Search your heart. Have you ever, for one second, actually cared about my feelings?
“I was too immature. I thought the world had so much to offer. I didn’t want to be tied
down.
Seeing his devastated expression, I finally couldn’t stop myself from offering one last piece of advice.
“You were the one who broke those promises first. And I’ve already found someone I want to do those things with.”
I decided to confront him directly at Santa Monica Beach.
“Stop, Kira. Please, just stop.”
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Noah walked over, putting himself protectively between me and Leonardo.
“In this entire world, besides your parents, no one knows you better than me. No one is
a better match for you.”
“Finally ditch the ex? Did you tell him that from now on, I’m your designated
spider-killer? He doesn’t get to squish a single one.”
He was so determined to see the world before. Now he was back, trying to play the devoted boyfriend.
She begged me to please, please talk some sense into him.
“Maybe you don’t actually love me. You just can’t stand to lose.
“Leonardo, what are you doing here?”
“Kira, did you come back to school early just for him?”
“Sorry, Leonardo. We’re about to go get lunch. We have to go.”
“I owe you a real apology. Kira, I’m sorry.”
“Kira, can’t you just have one meal with me? Just once.”
I remember reading somewhere that after a breakup, it might take a woman a month
to get over it.
I nudged Noah, who was frozen in place.
Leonardo looked shattered, his eyes turning red.
Noah let me pull him away, but not before shooting one last glare at Leonardo.
I let out a bitter laugh. “Leonardo, do you really not remember what you did?
Leonardo stood frozen, as if struck by lightning.
I laughed, so hard I almost cried.
I didn’t understand what he was thinking, but I also felt no need to explain myself.
Leonardo was still standing at the gate, watching us. In the shadow of a large palm tree, he looked utterly alone.
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“Leonardo, you need to move on, too.”
But Leonardo and I had finally, completely drifted apart, scattered to opposite ends of
the same coast.
Noah was so annoyed by him he would sigh dramatically every time he saw him.
Mrs. Rossi also called and texted me many times, saying the university was starting to contact them.
I looked back one last time at Leonardo, still standing motionless by the waves as the
sun set.
I smiled and said, “It’s great here. The food is amazing. You should look up some good places to eat while you’re here.”
When Leonardo realized what I was doing, he lost his cool.
“After you left, I realized I don’t know how to live without you. I can’t imagine a future without you, with no one to share things with.”
I didn’t wait for a reply.
“Honestly, after I left you, I realized that real love doesn’t mean constantly walking on eggshells.
“Come on. Didn’t you say you wanted to try that new film project idea on me? We’ve got a lot to talk about, let’s go.”
Finally, he spoke in a low voice, sounding deeply hurt. “But we promised to go to
college together, study film together, then see the world together. Are you breaking all those promises too?”
