As I stepped through the door that night, the weight of the day clung to me like a heavy fog. The office had been busy as usual, but it wasn’t just the work that exhausted me–it was the constant gnawing in the back of my mind, the pressure of the lie I was living. Lucas’s words from earlier kept replaying in my head, over and over, like a broken record: “You can’t keep pretending, man. Alara
deserves to know what’s really going on.”
The house was dimly lit, with only the soft glow of the lamp in the living room casting shadows against the walls. As I walked through the hallway and into the bedroom, I saw Alara lying on the bed, her figure barely visible under the covers. She looked peaceful, her hair splayed across the
pillow, and for a brief moment, I felt a pang of guilt.
I had planned to tell her tonight. I had worked up the courage on the drive home, convincing myself that it was the right thing to do. She needed to know the truth about our marriage–that it wasn’t real, that it was just a temporary arrangement for political reasons. But now, standing in the doorway, watching her sleep so peacefully, I hesitated. The words caught in my throat like they always did.
“Kaelen?” Her voice was soft, laced with sleep as she stirred under the covers, blinking up at me with bleary eyes. She rubbed her face and sat up slightly, brushing her hair out of her face. “You’re
home late.”
I offered her a small smile, walking over to the bed. “Yeah, work/ran long today. I didn’t want to
wake you.”
She stretched her arms above her head, yawning. “It’s okay. I’m glad you’re home.”
I sat on the edge of the bed, my heart pounding in my chest. This was the moment, the moment I had planned. I could feel the words on the tip of my tongue, the confession that had been building up inside me for weeks. Lucas was right–she deserved to know. The longer I kept this secret, the worse it would be when the truth finally came out.
But just as I opened my mouth to speak, she smiled at me–a soft, warm smile that made me
falter.
“How was work?” she asked, reaching out to brush her fingers along my arm. “You look exhausted.
”
I closed my mouth, the words dying in my throat. I couldn’t do it. Not tonight. Not when she looked
at me like that, with so much trust in her eyes. The thought of breaking her heart made me feel
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sick. I had two months left. Two more months, and then it would be over. Maybe it was best to
wait until then.
“It was fine,” I said, forcing a casual tone. “Just the usual. Meetings, paperwork, you know how it is.
She chuckled softly, her hand resting on my arm. “Well, I’m glad you’re back now. We don’t get to spend much time together these days.”
I nodded, the guilt twisting inside me like a knife. She had no idea that this was all temporary, that in a few months, everything between us would change. She was living in a fantasy, believing that our marriage was real, that we had a future together. And I was letting her believe it, because I didn’t have the courage to tell her otherwise.
“We’ll make up for it on the honeymoon,” I said, the words slipping out before I could stop them. Her eyes lit up at that, a wide smile spreading across her face. “Really? You’re excited about the honeymoon?”
I nodded, though the truth was far from what I felt. “Yeah. It’ll be good to get away for a while, just the two of us. Relax, enjoy some time together.”
She beamed, her excitement infectious. “I can’t wait. I’ve been looking at some places we could go. Somewhere warm, maybe? I was thinking the coast could be nice.”
“That sounds perfect,” I said, my voice sounding hollow to my own ears. I didn’t know how long I could keep this up, pretending that I was just as excited as she was. But for now, I had no choice. I couldn’t shatter her happiness, not yet.
She leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek, her lips warm against my skin. “I’m really glad you’re looking forward to it, Kaelen. I’ve been wanting us to spend more time together. It feels like we’ve both been so busy lately.”
“Yeah,” I murmured, turning to face her. “I know. Things have just been… complicated.”
Her brow furrowed slightly, a hint of concern in her eyes. “Complicated how?”
I hesitated for a second, almost letting the truth slip out again. But I caught myself just in time, forcing a smile instead. “Just work stuff. Nothing you need to worry about.”
She seemed satisfied with that answer, leaning back against the pillows with a sigh. “Okay. But you can always talk to me, you know. If you’re stressed or if something’s bothering you.”
“I know,” I said, feeling the weight of the lie pressing down on me. “Thanks, Alara.”
We sat in silence for a few moments, the quiet of the night settling around us. I could feel the
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tension in my chest, the urge to tell her everything building again. But I pushed it down, telling myself that it wasn’t the right time. Maybe there would never be a right time.
“So,” she said after a while, her tone lighter, “are you hungry? I made some pasta earlier. There’s still some left if you want to eat.”
I shook my head. “I’m good. Just tired, I think. I might turn in soon.”
“Okay,” she said softly. “I’ll be right here if you need anything.”
I nodded, standing up from the bed and walking over to the window, staring out at the night sky. The stars were barely visible through the haze of city lights, and I wondered if I had made the right choice. Maybe Lucas was right–maybe I needed to come clean before things got even more complicated. But as I glanced back at Alara, who had settled back into bed, her eyes already closing again, I knew I couldn’t do it tonight.
も
I didn’t want to see the hurt in her eyes. I didn’t want to be the one to break her heart.
For now, I would keep the truth to myself. Two more months, and then it would all be over. With that thought in mind, I turned away from the window and walked back to the bed, slipping under the covers beside her. She stirred slightly, turning toward me, and I wrapped my arm around her, holding her close. For now, this was enough.
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Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
