Chapter 75
She deserved someone who could give her a normal relationship instead of twisted mess of protectiveness and desire that I represented.
She needed to be with someone who would love her purely, completely, without the shadow of obligation hanging over every interaction.
Someone who would see her as a woman to be cherished, not as his best friend’s little sister who needed to be kept safe.
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But she’d gotten quite the opposite, hadn’t she? Instead of finding healthy love, she’d fallen into the hands of a monster who’d spent years systematically destroying her sense of self–worth. Instead of being cherished, she been abused, controlled, diminished until she’d barely recognized herself.
The knowledge that I’d pushed her toward that fate made me sick. If I hadn’t walked away that night, if I’d been brave enough to admit how I felt about her, would she have stayed? Would she have been safe?
The questions haunted me, especially in the dark hours before dawn when my defenses were weakest and the guilt felt like it might drown me.
But since she’d kissed me that night a few weeks ago – that desperate, sorrowful kiss in my living room – something had shifted inside me. It was like
she’d unlocked a door I’d spent years barricading shut, releasing feelings I’d thought I’d successfully buried.
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I couldn’t control how I felt about her anymore. The careful walls I’d built, the mental compartments where I’d stored my inappropriate thoughts and desires, had all come crashing down the moment her lips had touched mine.
And I was furious with her for it.
Furious that she’d kissed me and then immediately walked away, acting like she regretted it the next morning.
Furious that she’d pretended nothing had happened while I lay awake every night remembering the taste of her mouth, the way she’d melted against me for just a moment before reality had crashed back in.
I was angry that she’d awakened something in me that I’d spent five years trying to kill, something that made every interaction between us feel charged with electricity and unspoken possibilities.
Angry that I should be mourning my lost mate and pub but instead I was yearning for someone that was off limit.
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Most of all, I was angry at myself for wanting something I had no right to wit, for looking at Orion’s sister and seeing not a family member to protect but a woman I was desperately, hopelessly in love with.
Because that’s what this was, wasn’t it? Love. Not the protective affection I’d convinced myself I felt, not the familial loyalty that had kept me close to
her family all these years.
This was the deep, consuming, terrifying kind of love that poets wrote about and men went to war over.
I love Jess, there’s no denying it. But this kind of feeling, could destroy everying if I wasn’t careful.
Watching her walk away from me just now had been almost as painful as wh she’d left five years ago.
My chest felt tight, like someone had wrapped steel bands around my ribs on was slowly tightening them. Every step she took away from me felt like another small death, another piece of my heart being carved away.
My wolf was pacing restlessly in my mind, demanding that I follow her, that fix whatever had gone wrong between us. He didn’t understand human concepts like propriety or appropriate boundaries.
All he knew was that she was in pain and walking away from us, and every stinct we possessed was screaming at us to chase after her.
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Chapter 75
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But I couldn’t. Not because I didn’t want to the desire to follow her was so trong it was making my hands shake – but because chasing after her would
only prove her point.
It would confirm her belief that I saw her as someone who couldn’t handle her own problems, someone who needed constant supervision and
intervention.
If I followed her now, I’d be proving that she was right about me seeing her weak and childish. Even though that was the last thing I believed about her, my actions would speak louder than any words I might offer.
So instead, I stood there in that hospital hallway, watching the elevator door close behind her, feeling like I was being torn apart from the inside.
The smart thing, the safe thing, would be to let her go. To step back and give her the space she needed to heal and grow without the complication of my
feelings muddying the waters.
She was finally starting to find her strength again, finally beginning to believe in herself. The last thing she needed was me confusing the situation with a declarations she wasn’t ready to hear.
She deserved better than someone who’d spent years lying to himself about His feelings. Better than someone who was supposed to be her protector but couldn’t stop thinking about her in ways that had nothing to do with keeping her safe.
Better than someone who’d failed her so completely that she’d ended up in the hands of a man who’d nearly destroyed her.
You’re an idiot, my wolf said bluntly. She kissed you. She chose you. Stop making decisions for her and let her decide what she wants.
But he didn’t understand the complexity of the situation. It wasn’t just about what Athena wanted – it was about what was right, what was best for
everyone involved.
Orion trusted me to look out for his sister, not to seduce her. Our parents had raised us together, had trusted me to be a positive influence in her life.
How could I betray that trust by pursuing something that could destroy the family bonds we’d all worked so hard to maintain?
I turned away from the elevator and walked back toward Seraphine’s room, because that felt like the safest choice.
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Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
