Chapter 98
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She didn’t need me to protect her anyway. She wasn’t a baby. She was a grow woman who could take care of herself, and maybe it was time I stopped using her safety as an excuse to stay close to her.
My bike roared to life, and I peeled out of the driveway like the devil himsel was chasing me.
The flower shop was just opening when I pulled up, the elderly owner giving me a concerned look as I stumbled through the door. I probably looked like
hell, unshaven, hollow–eyed, desperate.
“The usual?” she asked gently, and I nodded, not trusting my voice.
White lilies. Jess’s favorite. She used to say they reminded her of new beginnings, of hope.
My hands were still shaking as I paid for them, and the woman wrapped them with extra care, like she could sense this wasn’t just any ordinary day.
The cemetery was quiet when I arrived, the morning mist still clinging to the grass between the headstones. I parked my bike in the same spot I always
right by the main gate, and walked the familiar path to where they were waiting for me.
and
our unborn child. My family. The family I’d failed to protect.
I knelt down and placed the flowers carefully at the base of her headstone, my fingers tracing the letters of her name. Jessica Marie Hayes. Beloved
daughter, devoted partner, loving mother–to–be.
The silence stretched around me, heavy with accusation.
“Baby,” I said finally, my voice cracking on the word. “I’m sorry for being late I know you were waiting for me.”
The guilt was a living thing inside my chest, clawing at my ribs, making it hard to breathe.
This was supposed to be our day. I was supposed to spend the entire day here with them, talking to them, remembering them, honoring what we’d lost.
Instead, I’d been ten hours late because I’d been busy betraying everything they‘ meant to me.
I bowed my head, shame washing over me. “I’m so sorry for letting you down Again.”
The word hung in the air between us. Again. Because this wasn’t the first time I’d failed them, was it? I’d failed to protect them when they needed me
most. I’d failed to save them when her contraction started but I wasn’t there.
And now I’d failed them in a whole new way.
I need to tell you something,” I whispered, my throat so tight the words bargy came out. “I need to be honest with you, even though it’s going to hurt.”
A bird called somewhere in the distance, but other than that, the cemetery was silent. Like she was waiting for me to spill my humiliating truth.
I was with someone last night. Another woman twice. Athena. Orion’s littlester. The words tasted like ash in my mouth. I took her in our kitchen,
on the counter where we used to… where you used to help me cook dinner, when we used to make love, where we made little lessy..”
My voice broke completely then, and I had to stop talking for a moment. Wh I looked up at her headstone, I swear I could feel her disappointment radiating from the carved stone.
“I know you’re angry with me. I can feel it. And you have every right to be. ears were running down my face now, hot and bitter.
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Chapter 98
I promised you I’d never love anyone else. I promised you I’d keep your merry sacred, and I broke that promise on the worst possible day.”
The silence felt different now. Colder. Like she’d turned away from me the wil I deserved.
“Will you forgive me, honey? I begged, pressing my palm flat against the he stone.
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I promise it won’t happen again. It will never happen again. I’ll stay away from her. I’ll go back to just visiting you and remembering what we had.
Please don’t leave me alone.”
But even as I said the words, I knew they were lies. I could still feel Athena’s skin under my hands, could still taste her on my lips. I could still hear the
way she’d said my name when I’d made her come apart in my arms.
And the worst part was, some terrible part of me didn’t want to forget.
I stayed there for hours, talking to the headstone, begging forgiveness I didn deserve, making promises I wasn’t sure I could keep. The sun climbed
higher in the sky, warming the back of my neck, but I felt cold all the way through.
When I finally stood to leave, my knees were stiff and my back ached. But the pain in my body was nothing compared to the pain in my chest.
‘I love you,” I whispered to the headstone. ‘I’ll always love you.”
Comments
blackmoonsage
ok this is so confusing make up your mind
7 days ago
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Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
