Chapter 70
The drive to where we’re going is a little over two hours from Blackstone. We’re somewhere on the coast. I can feel the vibration of heavy bodies of water, and it’s sharpening my senses. I thought I had felt alive when 1 woke up after shifting, but this is insane.
“Where are we?” I ask.
“This is Crystal Cove,” Ragnar answers. “This is where the King’s Temple stands. It’s run by some of the most powerful female Lycans in existence. They’re called the scribes, and they serve in the old ways.”
“Why are we here?”
“A couple of reasons,” he smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “One being your affinity. There are two omegas like you with a water–healing affinity similar to yours. I thought you might like to know more about it.”
“Thank you,” I smile.
“The second reason,” he clears his throat. “This is where I took my blood oath. The priestess who oversaw it asked me to bring you the day I came to ask if she could assist me in breaking it.”
I turn my attention away from the ocean to look at him. He’s serious. His eyes are focused on the road, but they’re a million miles away. His jaw is so tight I can see his muscles flex. I hadn’t been paying attention to the way his heart beats because I was distracted by the water, but I can hear the way it’s racing now.
“You want to break your oath?” I ask. He inhales slowly and glances at me before turning his attention back to the road.
“You’re my mate now,” he says as if it hurts him to even think it.
“You don’t owe me any favors,” I shake my head. “I don’t think either of us is in a position where we need to make an immediate decision. The fact that you lied to me isn’t a reason for me to hold back accepting this mating.”
I jump when he hits the brakes and pulls over to the side of the road. The car comes to a complete stop, and my heart starts to race because I now feel like a hostage. He’s mad, and I don’t understand why. It’s clear as day to see that he doesn’t want this.
“What is that supposed to mean?” he demands. “You don’t want to accept me as your mate?”
“I didn’t say that,” I say, unable to look at him. I want nothing more than to get out of this car and walk away, but I’ve once again put myself in a position where I have nowhere to go.
“Then what are you saying? I’m here. I will do anything to make this work. This is not something that happens to our kind. Ever. And you want to throw it away? For what? Because of him?”
I crack the window, needing some fresh air, but I still can’t bring myself to look at him or even say anything else that may set him off. This has nothing to do with Santiago. Or maybe it does. The way he treated me made me feel like nothing more than an object because I wasn’t a wolf. I bet my entire existence on our mating, and I ended up being the other woman to my goddess–given mate.
11:41 Fri, Jan 23
Chapter 70
The way he’s been acting from the very beginning feels a lot like that again. He misses her. His pain runs deep enough for him to reject the idea of ever moving on, even if it meant he wouldn’t be producing an heir to the throne. And now we’re here. Both of us are bound to an obligation we never asked for.
No matter how hard I try to fight it, I can feel the tears ready to fall. Unable to take the heavy tension in the car, I push the door open and get out. I shut the door without slamming it and walk away. I feel like I’ve just been kicked in the chest.
“Sophia, where are you going?” Ragnar demands as I try to calm myself.
When I don’t answer him. He catches up, closing the distance between us in a flash. He spins me around, and just as he is about to say something to fuck my life up even more, he stops. I pull out of his hold and turn away, not wanting him to see how weak I really am.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve any of this,” I wipe my eyes.
“What are you talking about?”
“There’s something wrong with me. It’s like no matter what I do, the universe is keen on showing me how unworthy I am. Not fit to be a mate, a wolf, or even a mother. No matter where I turn, I’m just forced to be alone. I should have died that day with everyone else, and I couldn’t even do that right.”
“Why are you saying that?” he grabs my wrist. I pull away from him and turn around to look at him.
“Because it’s the truth. You’re not here for me. You’re here because of the obligation you feel you have to me and to this bond. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t ask you to break your oath. I’m not asking you for anything.
“You’ve been fighting this for three years without telling me. You’ve been gaslighting me, making me feel like I’ve been overstepping boundaries that you never set. All I wanted was for us to be friends.
“Do you really think I want another mate to keep me prisoner in the expensive cage they call their home? You have nothing to lose here. I was stripped of everything that I was to fit this role, and I still wasn’t good enough for them. I never even wanted to be a Luna. I don’t want to be your Queen and walk behind you the way Ivar’s mother walks behind your father.
“It’s fucked how she waits for him to come home so that he can be indifferent to her presence because she’s not who he wants. I’m cursed. You have no obligation to me whatsoever. I don’t want to make this work. I want to be loved. I want my family. I want to be a girl. Not this. I don’t want whatever this is either.”
“Sophia, that’s not what I meant.”
“That’s exactly what you meant. You’re not thinking of me as a person. You’re thinking as a beast. I don’t know how to be a beast. I don’t do things on a whim. I do them with my soul. I give everything. My instinct isn’t to take, it’s to love, and all I’ve ever gotten for it is shit,” I turn away when my voice breaks. “I want to go home. Is that okay with you?”
“We can go home,” he says after a while. I turn around to head back to the car, but he steps in front of me. I let out a frustrated sigh. “Sophie,” he tips my head back so I can look up at him. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I
meant.
“You’re right. I have been an asshole,” he sighs and steps closer to me. “I regret taking this oath. I regretted the moment I walked out of that temple, but I stuck to it because it’s all I have left of her.
11:41 Fri, Jan 23
Chapter 70
“When you came into my life again, I knew what you were, but there was so much going on. You had just been rejected, and you were pregnant. I’m not fighting this because you are unworthy or because it’s an obligation. I wanted you to have the space you needed to heal.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I am very possessive of what is mine. Hearing you defend him made me want to kill him. You holding my father back from ending his entire bloodline for what he did to you and what his family did to ours keeps me up at night.
“I sat outside your door after your appointment and listened to you cry, and it killed something inside of me knowing that if I did something about it, you’d hate me. I can’t stand the idea of anyone else making you cry,” his fingers dig into my cheeks as he leans in to me so that we are only a few centimetres away from one another. I jump when his warm tongue meets my cold skin. “These are mine, Sophia. You’re not cursed, stupid. You’re not unloved.
“I would never subject you to being something you don’t want to be. Especially after seeing how amazing you are at helping our people. You have this warmth about you that’s been healing the coldness I’ve felt since we lost everything. And I’m so fucking sick of seeing you doubt everything that you are over a dog’s meaningless bark.”
Before I can even think, his lips are on mine. I feel a jolt of cold flash through my body and scream when water lands on the two of us. He pulls me into him instinctively. I press my lips together to see that we’re both soaked. His arm is secure around my waist. He reaches up with his other hand to wipe the water from his face and push his hair back.
“I don’t know how to control it. I made a mess in the bathroom this morning when I was showering, too.” I lick the salt water off my lips and laugh.
“You have a way of sabotaging our moments, Little Wolf,” he sighs. “Come on. Let’s get you dry.”
