My heart is beating steadily, but I feel the rush of my actions trembling in my bones. I feel like I had been running on autopilot the entire time. As if someone were driving my body do what I did. As I replay the images in my head, I feel a strange satisfaction as well as a deep sadness.
We arrive at the first training facility. The one we had used the year before our official training began. Immediately, my grandmother and General Vega emerge with several other high anking officials. I take a seat in the back where I’m not in the way. I think Ragnar saw that I needed a moment to myself because he didn’t say much after taking the pieces of my broken phone with him.
“Hey,” I look over at my grandmother, who is holding up a bottle in one hand and two glasses in the other. She climbs in beside me and shuts the door behind her.
“Hey,” I greet her, taking the whiskey glass when she offers it.
“I would say congratulations, but something tells me the drink won’t be to celebrate your victory.”
“Do you ever feel bad?” I ask as she tops off my glass.
This is the first time I ever drink, and it’s a little wild that it’s with my grandmother over something so morbid. That is what this is to me at the moment. Although I understand why I did what I did and believe that I had every right to do so, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m still in the wrong. This was as wrong as them doing what they did to me.
“No, but I wasn’t raised by wolves. We’re different,” she says honestly. “This is all in a day’s work for me. I’ve done so much worse.”
“Okay,” I say and take a drink from the glass.
Caramel and vanilla burn into my mouth and down my throat. Enough that I wince as it warms my stomach. My eyes water, and it feels like my entire system has taken a life–changing hit. I fough, trying to soothe the burning sensation in my throat. When I look over at my grandmother, she smiles with pride as she downs her entire glass.
“I figured you’d want something sweet for your first time,” she grins.
“Wow,” I croak, putting the glass up to my lips once more. “Why do I want more?”
“It’s your Lycan spirit. We like to party,” she smirks. “I couldn’t help but notice that Ragnar was very upset when he walked into the compound. Did something happen?”
“Yeah, I should talk to him. Santiago was here looking for me. In into Lieza at the clinic before we departed. My guess is that she told him where I work, and he showed up. Luckily Mr Plucci was there. She told him I moved on, and he messaged me some pretty stupid shit.”
“I see,” she sighs. “Well, I will leave this here with you so that you may offer him some.”
“Thank you,” I smile. “I’m glad it was you.”
“Me?”
“I couldn’t drink before. Liquor is usually laced with wolfsbane the first time I have a drink with anyone,” I hold up my glass. He
have an effect on wolves. It’s lethal to omegas. So, this is smile widens, and she clinks her glass to mine,
“Don’t take this the wrong way, my love. But you’re so fucking bring sometimes,” she laughs.
“I was a good girl,” I shrug.
“Being a good girl is stupid. I’ll leave you to the King. Go easy on him. If he’s anything like his father, he’s a fucking idiot,” she sighs and hops out of the truck. “Good luck, Darling.”
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Thanks, I laugh. “For the drinks too.”
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She waves me off as she heads back inside. I can hear them already celebrating their victory. I finish the glass and climb out of the car. As soon as the cold air hits me, my body feels like it’s nocked down a few levels. I shake it off and bow at some of the officers carrying the armored cases.
I track his scent to find Ragnar is alone in one of the upstairs offies, making calls. I sneak into the room, probably not sneak. I think I’m feeling the effects of this drink. I hold up the two glasses to show him what I’ve got. For a moment, his serious King expression falters, and he waves me over.
I place both glasses in the center of the metal desk and fill them both. This is probably a bad idea, seeing as I’ve never done this before, but who cares? I just did something I can’t come back from, and this feeling I’m getting is a much better option than feeling all of that. I sit across from him and wait for him to get off the phone.
“Hi,” I say when he places the cordless phone back on its stand to charge. “I’ve never actually seen a house phone before.” I point at it. “It’s kind of cute.”
“We don’t have these issued to our facilities. That belongs to your grandma. This is her office,” he says, reaching for the bottle. He reads the label and smiles at me. “Where did you get this?”
“The owner of this office,” I shrug. He laughs, nodding. “I don’t know why, but I feel like you want me to apologize to you about those texts. You’re mad.
“I am,” he nods.
“I don’t understand why,” I admit and take a drink.
“I knew he’s been texting you this entire time. I know because your reactions are kind of obvious. I never said anything because I hadn’t told you we were mated, and it wasn’t my place to pry.”
“I see. You’re mad because I didn’t tell you after you told me,” I sigh.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it’s none of your business,” I shrug. “Mate or not. This is between him and me. He’s texting me, trying to get me to give in the way I used to, but we both know I won’t. The only way you need to be involved is if I feel threatened, and I don’t.”
“So what are you apologizing for?”
“Oh, I’m not. I just wanted to know if that was the case. You know so I can tell you to fuck off,” I say and finish the second glass. He stares at me with that blank expression I hate. He opens his mouth to say something, but ends up laughing.
“Sophia, are you drunk?”
“It’s a high probability that I am, yes,” I nod. He takes the bottle off the table and sets it down beside him.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“I have mixed feelings about what happened tonight,” I admit.
“I would be surprised if you didn’t,” he sighs, sitting back, taking the glass with him. He takes a sip and places his arms on the
armrests.
“Is it a man thing?” I ask.
“Excuse me?”
“You look so fucking cool, right now. Sitting there in your vest. Serious face. Glass of whiskey in hand. Or is it just me because I’m insanely attracted to you?”
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“Are you?” he laughs.
“Am I what?”
“Insanely attracted to me.”
“Don’t change the subject,” I roll my eyes and sit back. I cross my legs and lean on my left arm.
“I think it’s because you’re attracted to me,” he smirks.
“Hmm,” I nod. “I hope so.”
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He grins again and finishes the glass before reaching for the bottle. He fills his glass and only gives me about two thumbs full.
“Talk to me,” he says, sitting back again.
“Do you remember that day? When you found me?”
“Too vividly,” he nods.
“In the split second that he hesitated, I felt this surge of rage flood through me. It didn’t matter if I was going to die, but I sensed you coming, and I knew that you’d do what I couldn’t. I wanted him to go down with me.
“For a long time, I thought of that rage. That split second when everything made sense. The feeling of knowing what I had to do and executing it. It was like something took over and did it for me. It was a very profound sense of clarity.
“I never wanted to feel that again because it scared the hell out of me. I thought that if I pushed that part of me down and tried my best to forget it, I would. It’s why I did what I was told without question. Over time, this thing I pushed down, I think it was growing.”
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Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
