Chapter 206
CHAPTER 11
Graham’s face was still hard, but there was something else now–
something darker, sadder. He shook his head slowly, as though trying
to process the absurdity of her words.
س
Even saying the words felt like a knife twisting in Isla’s chest, the
pain sharp and unrelenting. It wasn’t just her head that hurt–it was
something deeper, lodged where her pride and her heart lived. That
night when she left home, she hadn’t just abandoned Thornfield
Manor; she’d abandoned a truth so raw, so shameful, she couldn’t
.even admit it to herself. Until now.
The truth was that she wanted Graham Lancaster.
She wanted him for herself. To be the woman he looked at the way
men looked at their hearts‘ desire. To be in his arms, pressed against
the solid strength of him, kissed and held as though she mattered-
truly mattered. Even to be in his bed, if only for a single night, just
once, to know what it felt like to be his. Her much older step–brother,
Her protector. Her tormentor.
What kind of wretched girl was she to dream such things?
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The shame of it burned through her veins, and for weeks she’d done everything she could to bury it–to forget the way his voice made her shiver, the way his hands, large and capable, sometimes rested on her shoulder for a fleeting second too long, sparking something inside her she couldn’t explain. The life she’d chosen since–scrubbing
dishes until her fingers bled, cooking until the heat made her faint,
sleeping on damp, cold floors–had stripped her bare. Poverty had a
cruel way of exposing truths, wrenching them from you when you
were too weak to resist. It tore away every pretense, every distraction,
until all that was left was her. Alone, small, and achingly honest.
And the truth was, she wasn’t just afraid of being a burden.
She was afraid of what she wanted. Afraid of him.
Across the room, Graham watched her with narrowed eyes, his jaw
tight, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. It was as though he
could sense her unraveling.
Isla’s sobs came suddenly, wracking her body with such intensity that
the sound itself felt foreign to her. It was a deep, mewling cry, the
kind that slipped from her mouth unbidden, and she hated it. She
hated how vulnerable she felt, how the tears flowed without warning.
She felt small, like a child again, exposed in a way she couldn’t
control.
“Isla? Isla?” His voice was soft, full of concern. He reached for her,
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pulling her close, his arms enveloping her like a protective barrier.
She could feel the warmth of his chest against her cheek, the steady
beat of his heart as he held her, and for a moment, she felt as though
she might find solace there. But it was fleeting.
“No,” she suddenly cried out, the words choking her, raw with grief.
“No, it’s not okay!” Her voice cracked, and she clutched at his shirt in
desperation. “My father is dead. My maa has been gone for years. I
have no one left. No family. Nothing. I’m a proper orphan now. And
orphans… orphans belong nowhere!” The words tumbled from her
lips like a torrent, each one carrying the weight of her pain. She
quickly pulled herself away from his grasp, her face burning with
shame as she tried to wipe away the tears, but it only made the hurt
sharper.
Graham stared at her, his eyes wide with disbelief. He reached for her
again, his voice calm but firm. “That is–That is ridiculous, Isla. You
will always have a home at Thornfield Manor. And you will always
have a family in me.”
But Isla shook her head violently, her emotions swirling in a storm of
confusion and sorrow. “No,” she whispered, her voice trembling.
“You’ll have a family soon, Graham. You’ll get married, have children,
and Thornfield Manor will be your home. It won’t be mine anymore. I
-I don’t belong there anymore. I don’t belong anywhere. I don’t
know where I fit in this world.” The words felt like a confession, like a
truth she had been hiding from herself for far too long.
Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
