Chapter 201
E 35 younetk
you okay?” Mr. Varkas asked, jumping to his feet and rushing to me, where he handed me a glass of water
With how hard I was coughing. I couldn’t drink the water, and it just kept pouring out. Mr. Varkas took the glass from me, drank a mouthful himself, and before I could process what he was doing, he grabbed my jaw and pressed his lips to mine, forcing the water into my mouth.
My eyes widened and I swallowed on reflex, feeling his lips on mine. I stayed frozen, my hands clenched on my lap.
I pushed him away from me, wiping my mouth with my shaking hands.
‘Pl–please don’t come close to me, sir,” I stammered even though he was standing still, his chest heaving.
I pushed off the chair, getting on my feet, but my legs wobbled and I almost fell, but I held the table. But Mr. Varkas still shot Forward, about to catch me, but he stopped when I screamed, “Don’t come close!”
He paused, cursing. “I panicked,” he said with a stressed look on his face, running his hand through his hair and pushing it
way from his face. “I didn’t mean to do that. I didn’t even think. I just wanted to stop you from choking.”
nodded as I staggered away from him. “You don’t have to explain, sir. I get it.”
My head was cloudy as if I was high, my body burning. I climbed up the stairs, inhaling and exhaling.
‘It’s okay,” I muttered to myself as I climbed the stairs, feeling his eyes on my back, but I didn’t look back. “It’s okay.”
got to my room, and when the door was closed, I slumped on it, sliding down until I was sitting on the floor, my knees drawn up.
couldn’t tell if I was okay or not. I couldn’t tell what this feeling in my body was, what the tingling sensation between my egs was, or the warmth I could feel, or the heat in my lower abdomen.
But I could tell… I could tell it was lust.
Oh, god!” I cried, covering my mouth with both my hands, tears flowing out, and I silently cried.
How could I? I could tell he was just trying to help me; he didn’t have any disgusting thoughts towards me. It was I who was having the disgusting thoughts, the lustful thoughts.
it was I who noticed the outline of his member in his pants. It was I who had thoughts of seeing him naked, of wanting to see what those muscles would look like without his clothes.
And now it was I who was aroused when he was just trying to help me. And I know he would have smelled it on me.
How could I? How?!
After everything? After the years of hell and torment? Was I now becoming the thing that I hate the most Was I becoming a
monster?
Lust was disgusting. It was repulsive. It brought out the monster in people. Once people were clouded with hust, their dark. side came out, and they lost their minds, all they could think about was just to satisfy that urge
I’ve once had a client who looked decent. He was a teenager, tall, with huge and thick glasses. He had acted shy when I was brought to him, avoiding my eyes and fidgeting with the hem of his large hoodie, and I thought to myself. “Maybe this night
will be better.”
1/3
Chapter 201
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That weet, der by had become or because of lover, so how could be having this indecent feeling
“How could 11 whigend wed
1 remembered that feeding of their hands on me, thither, onery gene sambon my body
Ville tone to my throat, wed thug me I saw so the bathroom, emerging everything in my stomach Even when I had nothing to throw up. I will reached.
1
I dood up, fluted the tolles, and turned the shower on, ensuring it was vt to a boiling hos temperaue I wood under with my clothes will on, have 1 felt even dirtier
1 ripped the clothes off with my hande sulting, rekking, my skin ward it was red, until it was bleeding, but I still felt dirty,
Tiny 1 mumbled as 1 kope verdhing “Dirty Darry Thirty, threy
I needed to be dean to rid myself of this feeling,
Mr. Varkas took me in when I was nothing but a stranger. He understood my situation and gave me space without me even acking. He always wood three feet away from me, respecting my wish to keep a distance, which no one had ever done before. This is how I repay him.
“Shame, Shame on you, Sade. You’re disgusting, You don’t deserve Kindnew!
When 1 scrubbed my skin until 1 felt like it would melt, I stepped out of that bathroom and staggered to the bed, lyg t down on it.
And then I sobbed, prayed, hoped, and whispered that I would never become what I hated the most. I would never beso the same thing that ruined my life.
I tapped my pen on the table, my chin resting on my folded fist.
I messed up. Why would I do that? Goddamn it, I should have thought of something ebe, but why did it have to be that way? Anything, would have been better than that!
“Mr. Varkas, sir!”
I was dragged back to reality, and I looked up to see Cynthia, my secretary, standing across my desk, staring at me with her eyebrows furrowed in worry.
“Cynthia” 1 said, my voice low.
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AD
Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
