13:36 Sun, Apr 19
How Not To Fall For A Dragon
:
Chapter 136 136- Do Not Forget Dragons Are Fiercely Proud Of Their
Mates
LEXI
I am curled up in a tight little ball on Blake’s bed, clutching the blankets like they’re the only thing holding me together. I’m stuck somewhere between being completely, brain–dead exhausted and painfully, sharply aware of every tiny sound and shift around me. I can’t let myself relax. Not fully. Not yet. I need to stay alert. I need to be ready. I don’t even know what I would do if someone DID get in here, but I would have to do SOMETHING. Maybe I’d shift again. Maybe I’d end up in that same out–of–control state as before… what did Blake call it? A battle frenzy? I probably could defend myself. But… Ugh… That was awful. And that man… My stomach twists violently as the memory hits me again, sharp and unavoidable. I killed him. I know I did. There’s no way he survived that. I can still feel it, the resistance, the impact, the way it happened without me even thinking. And the worst part is… in the moment, I didn’t even hesitate. I didn’t care. I just acted. Now though… now it makes me feel sick. I know, logically, that I was defending myself. If anyone ELSE told me that story, I would tell them they did the right thing, that they had no choice, that surviving matters more. But knowing that doesn’t make it feel any better. It doesn’t stop the guilt from creeping in, heavy and suffocating. My thoughts spiral, tangled and messy, mixing with the dizziness and the pain in my head until it’s all just too much. I don’t even notice the bedroom door opening. I don’t notice anything at all until the mattress dips and suddenly I’m being pulled, firmly but carefully, into someone’s lap. Blake. So much for staying alert and defending myself. My breath catches, my body going rigid for half a second before recognition settles in. He’s here. He’s actually here. His hands are already moving, checking me over with quick, practiced efficiency, scanning for injuries, for anything serious. I barely register it properly. For the most part, I’m just scraped and bruised, a few minor cuts here and there. It’s my head that’s the problem. Everything else feels distant compared to the dull, pounding ache behind my eyes.
“What happened to your head?” he asks, his voice low but edged with concern.
“I think someone hit me,” I croak, my throat raw. And then, I break. The tears come without warning, sudden and overwhelming, like something inside me just gives out. I don’t even know what I’m crying about specifically, it’s just everything. The fear, the pain, the stress, the guilt, it all crashes down at once, too much to hold back any longer. My hands clutch at his shirt as I sob, my whole body shaking. Blake is here. I’m safe. Despite everything, despite earlier, I know that. I know he won’t let anything hurt me now. His arms tighten around me, steady and solid, one hand moving slowly up and down my back while the other slides into my hair, careful of the sore spots but still grounding.
“Tell me everything,” he says calmly. And I do. I start at the beginning, my voice shaky and uneven, but I keep going. I tell him about leaving with Ellorie to get food, about the attack, about waking up, about trying to run. The words come out in pieces at first, then faster, like I can’t stop them once they’ve started. But when I reach that part, when I try to explain what happened when I fought back, 1 falter.
“I fought and I… I…” My voice catches, my chest tightening painfully.
“With my horn… I… he… I think he is “I freeze up.
“Dead,” Blake finishes quietly. I flinch. Even though I already knew it, hearing it said out loud makes it feel more real. More permanent swallow hard and nod, tears slipping down my cheeks again.
“And you feel bad about it,” he adds. I nod again, sniffing as I try to steady my breathing
“I know he wanted to hurt me, and I probably shouldn’t feel so bad about it,” I say weakly, my voice barely holding together.
1/4
13:36 Sun, Apr 19
Chapter 136 136–Do Not Forget Dragons Are Fiercely Proud Of Their Mates
“But I just… do…” I hesitate, then continue.
“You probably think that’s silly.” 1 mumble. Blake doesn’t answer straight away. There’s a brief pause, and I can feat him thinking
“I don’t share that opinion,” he says eventually.
“I know that I personally wouldn’t feel bad about it, and I’m proud of you actually. But you aren’t the same as me,” His tone is steady,
matter–of–fact, not dismissive.
“You value different things. One of those things is life. All life. And that’s why you feel bad.” He reasons. I blink up at him, trying to
process that through the haze in my head.
“I can’t fix that,” he continues, quieter now.
“But… since it matters to you… isn’t it a good thing that you feel bad?” He pauses slightly, like he’s choosing his words carefully.
“I don’t mean it’s GOOD that you feel bad. But it says something about you. About who you are.” His gaze holds mine, steady and serious.
“Do you WANT to be the kind of person who can hurt someone and not care?” He asks bluntly. I hesitate, turning the question over in my
mind.
“Well… no,” I admit softly.
“Then that’s your answer,” he says.
“You feel bad. You probably will for a while, But you know you did what you had to do. And you know you’re still a good person.” He assures me. I swallow, my throat tight, and slowly push myself up a little so I can look at him properly. He looks completely sincere, even if there’s still concern lingering in his expression. I don’t feel better. Not really. But… I think maybe, eventually, I will.
Blake waits. He doesn’t rush me, doesn’t interrupt, just sits there with that steady, grounded presence that somehow makes it easier to breathe, even when everything in my head still feels tangled and wrong. I can feel his hand resting lightly against my back, slow and consistent, like he’s anchoring me without forcing anything. And somehow… that patience makes it worse. Because now I have space to think. Space to feel. Another wave of guilt hits me, sharp and uncomfortable.
1
“You must think I’m such a hypocrite,” I whisper, my voice small and fragile in a way I don’t like. I don’t look at him as I say it.
“I keep telling you not to hurt people, not to fight them and then I went and k–killed someone. The word catches in my throat, still
foreign and heavy. Blake doesn’t hesitate.
“I don’t,” he says simply. I frown, finally glancing up at him, confused. I should be. It makes sense. It’s obvious, I said one thing, then did another. That’s the definition of it, isn’t it? He exhales softly, like he already knows exactly where my thoughts are going
“Lex), you’re not a hypocrite,” he says, his tone calm last firm
2/4
13:36 Sun, Apr 19
Chapter 136 136 Do Not Forget Dragons Are Fiercely Proud Of Their Mates
“Your were in a frenzy. You were fighting for great life. You didn’t have ateher chokes? There’s you t
“I did. My life was never in danger” its admits. I shake my head immediately, pushing agent that oxylene und
“Because my instincts took over,” 1 argue, my voice a little stronger now, a little more desperate
“Like yours did when you were protecting your hoard and stuff!” 1 point out. I don’t even fatly know why I’m pushing this so hard. It’s n
like I want him to be angry at me. Or disappointed. Or to think badly of me… Or maybe 1 6o. Maybe get of me thinks these should be consequences. That someone should look at what I did and say it was wrong. Because 1 killed vaserne. That did seat wrthing
That should matter. Blake goes very still.
“Instincts aren’t an excuse,” he says quietly. His voice is so soft I almost miss it, but I don’t. And it hits. It’s strangely relieving to hear him say it. To have it acknowledged out loud. That what I’m feeling makes sense. That it’s not just me being overly emotional or dramatic. But at the same time, it hurts. Because if instincts aren’t an excuse for me… Then they aren’t an excuse for him either. And he knows that. He’s not arguing it. He’s not defending himself. He’s just… accepting it. That realisation settles over me slowly, and with it. something else shifts. The last of the anger I’d been holding onto, the resentment, the hurt from what happened in his board, it domart disappear completely, but it… softens, Cracks. Because now I KNOW he gets it. He understands what he did, and he’s not trying to justify
ווי
“You know I love you. Right?” I blurt out suddenly. The words slip out before I can stop them, and my eyes widen immediately as I slap a hand over my mouth, heat rushing to my face, Great, Perfect timing. Blake just smiles. Of course he does.
“You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t,” he says easily, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“You don’t know that,” I mumble, my hand dropping slowly as I look away again, embarrassed.
“I rely on you for my safety… so much.” I point out. The words feel heavier than I expect. Like I’m admitting something I don’t entirely
like about myself.
“I do know it,” he replies without hesitation.
“If you didn’t actually care, you wouldn’t stick around through all the sides of me that bother you. You’re too good for that. And you wouldn’t choose me because it’s easier. If that were the case, you never would have spoken to me in the first place. He a him, a little thrown by the certainty in his voice.
nat
“And, I’ve been working pretty hard to make you feel that way. To make you feel like you can rely on me. It would be frustrating if yana told me i wasn’t getting anywhere” he continues, a faint hint of amusement slipping in I stare at him speechless. Because that spumis so calculated. So deliberate. And yet… It also sounds exactly like him Honest Blunt Slightly unsettling in the way he Bames things, and somehow still reassuring at the same time. I let out a slow breath, the tension in my shoulders easing hit a little
*So I say, my voice quieter now, more tired than anything else
“Where does that leave us?” I ask. Blake doesn’t hesitate
3/4
13:36 Sun, Apr 19
Chapter 136 136 Do Not Forget Dragons Are Fiercely Proud Of Their Mates
ライ
“Wherever you want it to leave us.” He answers unhelpfully. I look at him again, really look this time, searching his expression for something, pressure, expectation, anything that tells me what he wants me to say. But there’s nothing like that there just patience, The same kind i’ve seen in him so many times before. Patience that says he KHOWS I want him. And a willingness to wait for me to figure it
out.
Comments
R Visitor
I feel satisfied… but come on you stubborn dragon.
Time for you to crack open some emotions and say you love her too..
15 hours ago
18
SHARE
6 Comments >
10
Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
