How Not To Fall For A Dragon
Chapter 145 145- Do Not Let Him Whisper Secrets At Midnight
LEXI
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It’s about midnight, and I’m pacing. Back and forth. Back and forth. Across the length of my room like if I just keep moving, I won’t have to feel anything properly. It’s not working. I said goodnight to Blake over an hour and a half ago, and I should be asleep by now. I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept properly in days. Every time I close my eyes, I end up right back there, smoke, fire, blood, screaming… So yeah. Sleep isn’t happening. Which means I’m left with this restless, uncomfortable energy buzzing under my skin and nowhere to put it. I want to go to him. That’s the problem. I want to walk through that door, crawl into his bed, and let him pull me close until everything quiets down again. But… He’s still distant. Still careful. Like he’s holding himself back on purpose. And I don’t want to push him. I already feel like I expect too much from him, his protection, his presence, his everything. The last thing I want is to make that worse. So instead… I stop pacing and drop into my chair with a frustrated sigh, reaching for the shifter textbook again. The one with the pages about dragons. The book has repaired itself. Of course it has. The Academy probably respected Blake’s attempt to hide it at first, but now that I’ve
already seen it, there’s no point keeping it torn out anymore. Still. I flip to the section and start reading again. Slowly. Carefull. Like
maybe this time I’ll notice something I missed. I read it once. Then again. And… nothing. No sudden revelation. No hidden meaning. No
magical insight into why Blake is acting the way he is. Just the same thing over and over. Hoard. Value. Attachment. Possession. I lean
back in my chair, frowning. Is that it? Is this about his hoard? Blake hasn’t left the Academy since the attack. Not once. Which means he
hasn’t gone back to his main hoard. And I know how important that is to him. Is he missing it? Is that what’s wrong? Maybe he’s stressed.
Restless. Disconnected. He wouldn’t ask me to go with him again, not after what happened last time. Not after I made it very clear how
much I hated being locked away like that. So maybe he’s just… stuck. Trying to respect my boundaries, but losing something important in
the process. But that still doesn’t explain the distance. Not really. I open my drawer and pull out the pink diamond bracelet. The first
thing he ever gave me. The only thing I didn’t return to his hoard. I turn it over in my hands, watching the light catch on the surface. I
haven’t worn it since. It felt… like too much. Too much like I was accepting something I didn’t fully understand yet. But now… Maybe
that’s exactly the problem. When Blake explained his hoard, he said he was waiting for me to claim him. At the time, I didn’t really know
what to do with that. But now… Maybe I do. Maybe I’m the one who needs to act. To choose something. To show him where I stand
instead of waiting for him to guess. Because thinking back… On my very first day here, I didn’t hesitate. Everyone warned me about him. Told me to stay away. And I ignored them. I walked straight up to him anyway. That was ME. I CAN do that when I need to. If I’m
determined. Since then… he’s been the one reaching out. The one closing the distance. The one taking the risk. So maybe, maybe it’s my
turn. I huff out a quiet breath, nerves twisting in my stomach. But I can’t just… walk in there and claim him. That’s not me. I’m not a
dragon. I don’t do possession and declarations like that. I need to talk to him. Actually talk to him. Figure out what’s going on. Why he’s
been acting like this. What he’s feeling. Because I’m done waiting. I’m done lying awake every night, overthinking everything. I’m done
with the distance. With the awkwardness. With the uncertainty. I tighten my grip on the bracelet, my decision settling into place. Enough.
I stand, cross the room, and grab the handle. Then I open the door, and step straight into his room.
Blake looks up as I step into the room, blinking in surprise like he wasn’t expecting me at all. There’s a sketchbook open in front of him,
pencil still in his hand, like I’ve just caught him mid-thought.
“Hey, sorry to interrupt. Can we talk?” I blurt out quickly, rushing the words before I can second-guess myself and retreat. He doesn’t
hesitate. He closes the sketchbook immediately and sets it aside, his full attention shifting to me.
“Of course. Is something wrong? You look upset.” he says. I nod, my grip tightening slightly around the bracelet in my hand.
“Yes… well, sort of. I actually came to ask you that. Is something wrong?” I pause.
“Oh, but first.” I interrupt myself, then lift the bracelet slightly. He glances at it, then back at me, waiting,
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20:08 Mon, Apr 27
Chapter 145 145- Do Not Let Him Whisper Secrets At Midnight
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“I still have this. “Unless you ask for it back, I’m going to start wearing it again. Is that okay?” I ask. There’s no hesitation in his response
this time either.
“Yes,” he says, firm and certain.
“And I’m not taking it back.” He adds. Something in my chest loosens. I smile a little.
“Okay. Good.” He answers. A small step. A good one.
“Should I sit?” I ask, suddenly aware that I’m still hovering awkwardly near the door. He gestures to the bed beside him, and I move over,
climbing up and settling next to him. The mattress dips slightly under my weight, the space between us feeling… noticeable. Too
noticeable. I take a breath.
“So…” I start, trying to organise the mess of thoughts in my head into something coherent.
“I don’t really know how else to say this, but… you’ve been acting differently the last couple of days. And I feel like you’re upset with me
about something.” I tell him. My heart starts pounding harder.
“If you are, can you please tell me what it is so I can fix it?” I continue, forcing the words out anyway. There it is. Said. I watch him
carefully. He looks… confused. Genuinely confused.
“I’m not upset with you,” he says. And it’s the truth. I know it instantly. Which honestly just makes it worse.
“Okay…” I say slowly, frowning.
“That’s confusing.” I declare. I shift slightly, trying to explain it better.
“I thought you might be upset because you’ve been less… affectionate,” I admit.
“You haven’t hugged me, or really tried to get close to me in a few days. And sometimes you seem even more closed off than usual. Like in the library earlier.” I say awkwardly, trying to explain why things feel off. Blake goes still for a moment, thinking. Then something
clicks. I can see it happen. He draws in a breath, like he’s just realised something important.
“I’m not upset with you,” he repeats. Then he shifts slightly closer, his expression more serious now.
“I’ve been trying to make sure you don’t get upset with me again,” he says. Oh.
“I’ve been trying to figure out the right amount of space to give you,” he continues.
“Enough that I don’t seem controlling. Enough distance that you don’t feel smothered. That I’m not being overprotective again” He clarifies. That… explains a lot.
“And… I’ve been worried about you.” he adds more quietly. That catches me off guard.
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Chapter 145 145- Do Not Let Him Whisper Secrets At Midnight
“Worried how?” I ask. His gaze flicks over my face, more intense now.
“You went through something traumatic,” he says.
“You didn’t see yourself when I found you that night.” He pauses.
“It was… terrifying.” he admits. My stomach twists.
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“You scared me, Lexi,” he says quietly. That… I wasn’t expecting that. Blake to admit he was scared.
“I’ve just been… careful,” he finishes. I sit there for a moment, letting that settle. Careful. Not distant. Not pulling away. Just… trying not
to hurt me again.
“Well… I think I misread that.” I say quietly. And clearly I did. A lot. I hesitate, then push forward anyway.
“But… you were there too, Blake,” I say.
“That night could’ve been just as bad for you. I don’t think it’s just me that needs to be careful.” I point out. He doesn’t argue.
“I think…” I take a breath.
“I think I’d rather we deal with it together. If that’s okay.” I tell him honestly. It’s the truth. I’m sick of being along. For a second, he just looks at me. Then he moves. Fast. His arm wraps around me and he pulls me straight into his lap, holding me tightly, almost too tightly, like he’s been holding back for days and finally doesn’t have to anymore. He exhales softly, and I can feel the tension leaving him, the way his body relaxes just slightly now that I’m here, close, where he can hold me. Okay. Yeah. We definitely should’ve had this conversation sooner. Then again, he could have started it too. I lean into him, letting myself relax properly for the first time in days.
“Can I stay here tonight?” I ask, my voice softer now, heavier with exhaustion. He nods immediately.
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“Of course.” He agrees. Relief settles over me.
“Thanks,” I murmur. Then, after a small pause I continue.
“Also… can we go to your house tomorrow?” I ask.
“I want a do-over.” I add. He goes quiet. Just for a second.
“Yeah, sure.” he says softly. Simple. But it matters.
“Thanks,” I mumble, already feeling sleep pulling at me now that I’m warm and safe and not alone anymore.
“Love you.” I mumble. The words slip out easily this time. My eyes are already closing before I even hear his response.
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