19
FREYA POV
Morning came, and honestly? I seriously wished it hadn’t.
I’ve been standing over this bathroom sink for probably thirty minutes now, just pouring never-ending water over a face that’s already clean. It’s not even about the water anymore. I’m just trying my absolute best to scrub away the shame that replaced my dignity when I’m with Steve in the middle of the night.
I caught my reflection in the mirror and almost flinched. I looked like some kind of rejected princess-my hair was a literal bird’s nest, all tangled and wild from a night of zero sleep.
“I can’t believe I said that,” I whispered to the empty bathroom.
“Can I touch you?”
The words I’d breathed at Steve replayed in my head like a car crash on a loop. I squeezed my eyes shut, but that just made the mental movie clearer. I could still feel the phantom heat of his palms on my skin. My face burned all over again, the heat of that memory making me feel like I’d practically begged for it.
Because I did. I begged for it, and then-in some fit of panicked logic-I stopped him.
“Like, why?” I groaned, hitting my forehead against the cool glass of the mirror.
“Why would you do that, Freya?”
The worst part was pulling away when every single cell in my body was screaming for him to stay. I just couldn’t get the last time at the gym out of my head. The way he’d wound me up until I was mindless, and then just… stopped. I still felt the sting of that humiliation, sitting in my car alone afterward, having to use my own fingers just to find enough release to breathe again.
So, I told myself I didn’t want a repeat of that, but look at me. I’m still the one who ended up a sobbing mess.
I thought stopping him would be a win, but I didn’t win anything. I spent the rest of the night wide awake, my skin feeling three sizes too tight for my bones. I didn’t touch myself this time but I’d rubbed my nipples through the silk of my robe until they were red and raw, just trying to dull the ache he’d left behind. Every time I blinked, I saw him. I felt the weight of him.
I dragged myself away from the sink, my legs feeling like lead pipes as I walked back into the bedroom, my heart sinking as I looked at the crumpled sheets I’d spent all night tossing and turning in. I reached out, my hand trembling slightly as I picked up the photo of Luna from the nightstand.
“Good morning, honey,” I whispered. I traced her tiny nose with my thumb.
I felt a slight guilt staring at her picture. Here I was, losing my mind over a man’s touch while my daughter was miles away, stuck with a father who didn’t deserve her.
“How was your night?” I asked her, my voice thick. “Because Mummy’s… Mummy’s mind is a total mess right now. She’s… she’s trying so hard, Luna. She’s-”
A knock from the door suddenly stopped me, and my heart beat picked a race.
I nearly dropped the photo as I scrambled to wipe my damp cheeks. I looked at the door, my breath catching in my throat, my pulse thundering in my ears.
“It can’t be Steve, right?” I whispered, muttering a quick, desperate prayer that it wasn’t him. God, I just wasn’t ready to face him yet.
I quickly adjusted the silk of my robe, while I used my fingers as a comb to brush my hair, trying to look at least halfway human.
I opened the door just a little, sliding my head out while keeping my body inside. I just wanted to see who it was before I stepped out. My prayer was answered. It was Nana.
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“Good morning,” Nana said.
“Oh… Nana. Good morning,” I replied with a shy smile, leaning my shoulder against the doorframe.
I leaned my shoulder against the wood, a shy, awkward smile tugging at my lips.
I knew she was taking in my rough look-the messy hair and the eyes that probably looked like they’d seen a ghost–but I’m also busy staring at how perfectly put-together she was. She was already dressed in a crisp lavender blouse and a charcoal skirt. She even had on a cream-colored beret. The sight of it made me smile; it reminded me so much of my late grandma.
“Your beret… it makes me remember my late grandma,” I said, my voice softening as the tension in my chest eased just a little.
“Oh?” Nana reached up, her fingers grazing the soft fabric. Her eyes crinkled with a kind of hidden warmth. “Well, come down for breakfast and tell me more about her.”
“Alright Nana… Few minutes” I replied with a smile
“Why did I have the feeling today wasn’t going to end well?”
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