Chapter 18
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Mersi
I didn’t stop walking.
My cabin door clicked shut behind me, sealing me off from the freezing wind and the Alpha outside.
I had thought that seeing Silas again would cause some emotional storm within me. But aside from that initial surprise, all I felt was exhaustion and a sense of near-numbing calm. My inner wolf didn’t even whine for him anymore.
The next morning, I woke up early. I went to the dining hall ahead of schedule, specifically to avoid any chance of running into him.
However, just as I finished organizing the morning herbal logs and stepped out of the archive room, I saw him waiting at the end of the dark corridor.
Silas looked like he hadn’t slept a wink. There were dark circles under his golden eyes. The moment he saw me, he stood up straight. His lips moved, but his voice came out dry and rough.
‘Harper.”
I stopped a few paces away and looked at him. My silence made the speech he prepared falter in his throat.
He took a step forward, trying to close the distance between us. His dominant aura was completely gone. “I know… I was wrong before. I ignored your feelings.”
He struggled to organize his words. These were words foreign to an Alpha, and they sounded awkward and stiff coming from his lips.
The situation with Chloe… the stolen antidote formula… and what I did to you in the corridor. I’m so sorry.”
He paused, as if gathering a massive amount of courage before looking me directly in the eyes. Those eyes, usually so cold and detached, were now churning with a mess of complicated emotions. Pain, regret, and a desperate need.
‘It wasn’t until you broke the Mind-link and left that I realized I can’t be without you. My wolf is going crazy without you. This past
month, I-
‘Alpha Silas.” I interrupted him.
My face remained unmoved. I didn’t even bother to raise my voice or offer him a sarcastic smile. “I received your apology. But it’s
not necessary.”
Silas froze, clearly not expecting this reaction. He had likely anticipated anger, tears, or perhaps even a small sign of my heart softening-not this absolute coldness.
The problem isn’t Chloe, and it isn’t the antidote formula.”
The problem is that in your eyes, I, Harper Brooks, have never been important.”
You grew used to my presence. You grew used to me healing your wounds, cleaning up your messes, and loving you unconditionally. You treated me like the air you breathe. You never noticed it, but you took it for granted. It’s only now, when the air vanishes and you start to suffocate, that you realize you need it.”
I tilted my head slightly. My gaze was sharp and cruel as I analyzed the great Alpha in front of me.
“You’re in pain right now, not because you finally realized you love me, but because your Alpha pride can’t stand losing a useful, obedient toy. You can’t stand that something you owned walked away. Silas, you’ve only ever loved your own comfortable sense of control. You never loved me.”
These words hit him like a physical blow. Silas’s face turned deathly pale in an instant.
He wanted to argue. He wanted to tell me his wolf was dying for me, but as he opened his mouth, he found that any defense he could muster sounded like a lie in the face of my truth.
“I…” His throat tightened, and he couldn’t force out a single word.
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“So, please. Don’t come looking for me for personal matters anymore. It’s affecting my duties.”
With that, I turned and walked away.
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Silas remained frozen in the corridor. I could feel his gaze on my back as I walked away with total finality. Perhaps for the first time in his life, he realized with absolute clarity that he had truly and completely lost me.
I went straight to the dining hall, grabbed a quick lunch, and found a quiet corner to sit down.
“Bad night? Or was it just the wild rogues howling that kept you up?”
A cheerful voice rang out from across the table.
I looked up to see Lucas Sterling setting down his tray. He sat opposite me without waiting for an invitation. He was wearing his usual leather jacket. His dark hair was a bit messy, but it only made his handsome smile look more brilliant. The warm scent of amber and pine washed over me, instantly easing my tense muscles.
I forced a small smile. “It’s nothing.”
Come on, your brow is all knit together,” Lucas said softly.
I’m heading over to the North Slope this afternoon. I heard the frozen caves over there are pretty unique. Want to come along? Think of it as a way to clear your head. If you stay cooped up inside staring at medical books all day, you’ll start to grow mold.”
He didn’t ask what had happened with Silas. He didn’t push. He simply offered an escape from the suffocating atmosphere.
‘Don’t worry, it won’t interfere with your duties. We can look for some rare frost-herbs while we’re there.”
He always found a way to make it impossible to say no, and his presence was naturally comforting. My inner wolf gave a happy little wag of its tail.
I nodded. “Okay.”
