.Chapter 19-2
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My father wrapped an arm around my shoulders when we were alone again, leaning in to speak quietly just to me. “Anything else worrying you? Maybe a certain father? You could tell me who it is and I could kill him for you, you know. Your mother would help.”
“Damn right I would,” my mother chimed in from across the table where she was already speaking with Saul, our pack healer, about that miracle tonic she’d mentioned.
I’d never told my parents who the father of the baby was. It would only cause commotion and take focus away from our real goal, which was getting Irene and Kenzi back and destroying Kellan once and for all. I glanced at the end of the table where Jensen was sitting. Dad’s second in command looked terrible and had been since the moment he’d learned that Irene, his mate, had been kidnapped. We’d had to physically stop him from barging into Aerith Kingdom all by himself with
no plan or backup.
“I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” I mumbled, deflecting as usual. “Any word from Dash?”
My father grimaced at the mention of my brother, his expression growing serious. “He’s still at Indigo Peak, trying to see if he can get his hands on a crystal to call your aunts. Finn is trying to gather more information about Aerith, and they want to hunt Lunessa down and ask her if she knows anything, but you know how your aunt is.” He sighed heavily. “It’s a fucking mess.”
I grimaced, feeling as if everything was my fault. If I hadn’t volunteered for this marriage in the first place, none of this would have happened. “I’m sorry.”
He scowled, shaking his head firmly. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault, Sisi. It’s Kellan’s, and he’s going to fucking pay for what he’s done.” The fierce expression on my father’s face reminded me why he was the alpha of the largest pack on the mountain.
The meeting continued around me, voices discussing strategy and resources and potential allies, but I couldn’t seem to focus on any of it. The words washed over me without really sinking in, and it wasn’t the sickness occupying my mind, though Saul had already promised me the tonic for later today.
It was him.
I felt like my soul had been ripped apart and left bleeding somewhere in the woods below our mountain. I’d never known that being away from Kane would feel like this. My mother had told me stories about how it felt when she was separated from my father during their early mating days. How she’d dreamed of him every night, how the bond pulled at her constantly, how she’d felt incomplete without him nearby.
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I’d thought she was being dramatic. Turns out, it was not. Every night, I dreamed of Kane. Not just memories of our time together, but vivid, realistic dreams where I could feel his hands on my skin, smell his scent, hear his voice whispering my name. I’d wake up reaching for him, only to find empty sheets and the crushing realization that he wasn’t there.
That he’d never be there again because I’d rejected him.
I was haunted by the memory of that night, of the devastation on his face when I’d shoved his ring into his chest and walked away. The guards that had come for me had seemed strangely familiar with him, too friendly for people who were supposedly ambushing us without our knowledge. But what if I’d been wrong? Hell, what if they’d killed him after I left?
What if it was my fault?
The thought made me sick with more than just pregnancy hormones. I wasn’t at peace with my decision, despite knowing it had been the right one. I was one nightmare away from running back down the mountain to find him, consequences be damned.
But what would I do then? I’d left him. It didn’t matter that I was pregnant with his child, he might hate me now. Maybe he’d never felt anything for me in the first place. We’d known each other for barely any time at all.
My wolf was pushing at every turn for me to go back to him, whining and clawing at my mind whenever I let my guard down. She didn’t understand politics or betrayal or the complicated mess that was our situation. All she knew was that we weren’t with our mate.
But what could I do? I’d made my choice. I needed to focus on getting my aunties back and killing Kellan once and for all. We couldn’t let this threat continue to hang over our heads.
The constant internal battle was exhausting. Part of me wanted to believe that what Kane and I had shared was real, that the tenderness in his eyes and the reverence in his touch hadn’t been an act. But the logical part of my brain reminded me that his men had found us too easily. I’d been a fool once. I wouldn’t be one again, even if it killed me to stay away from him.
I was just tuning back into the meeting, trying to force myself to pay attention to the discussion about patrol schedules and border security, when a guard burst through the door.
“Beasts!” he yelled, his face pale with terror.
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