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He carried me the whole way back.
One arm locked under my thighs, the other braced around my back, his forearm tight against my ribs like he thought if he loosened up even a little I would slip through his hands.
His fingers flexed every few steps, adjusting his hold, pulling me closer against his chest.
My cheek was pressed to his shoulder.
I could feel the heat of his skin through his shirt. He smelled like sweat and blood and
smoke.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
His voice was rough, scraping low in his throat. His chin brushed my temple when he spoke.
I didn’t answer. I kept my eyes open, staring past him at the trees as they moved, my fingers slowly curling into the fabric of his shirt.
“I shouldn’t have let that happen,” he continued, jaw tightening under my cheek. “I should have anticipated it.”
“You did anticipate it,” I said, my grip tightening in his shirt as I shifted slightly in his arms. “You brought weapons.”
He looked down at me, brows pulled tight, steps never slowing. “Werewolves don’t use guns.”
I blinked up at him. “What?”
“They don’t,” he repeated, adjusting his hold under my legs. “Bullets don’t have enough power to kill us. Not unless you hit something precise. It’s inefficient.”
“Then why did they have them?” I asked, lifting my head fully now, searching his face.
His arm tightened around my back. “Because bullets kill humans easily.”
I pushed lightly against his shoulder so I could see him better. “What are you trying to say?”
His jaw flexed. He looked ahead again. “I don’t know.”
“They don’t know I’m human,” I said quickly, my fingers gripping the collar of his shirt,” no one knows.”
“I know that.”
“Then why bring guns?”
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He exhaled sharply through his nose, shoulders rising under my hands. “That’s what doesn’t make sense.”
My stomach twisted. I shifted in his arms, my hand sliding down to fist the front of his shirt. “So they were prepared to shoot me.”
“I didn’t let them.”
“You didn’t attack at first,” I said, my voice rising as I pushed against his chest harder. ” You waited.”
He stopped walking.
Carefully, he set me down on my feet, his hands still on my arms, thumbs pressing into my sleeves like he didn’t trust me to stand steady.
“I didn’t attack because if I did,” he said slowly, leaning down slightly so we were eye level, “they would have panicked and fired. You were surrounded.”
“So you just watched them drag me away.” I pulled my arms halfway free but he didn’t fully let go.
“I tracked you.”
“That’s not the same thing.” I shoved at his chest once.
His hands slid up to my shoulders, holding me still. “I wanted to see where they would take you. If someone higher showed up. A leader.”
I stared at him, my hands hanging at my sides.
“You used me as bait.”
His face hardened instantly, brows dropping. “No.”
“It sounds like that.” I folded my arms across my chest.
“I would not let harm come to you.”
“You let them take me.”
“I let them move you,” he corrected, his fingers tightening slightly on my shoulders.” There’s a difference.”
My chest felt tight. I shook my head. “It didn’t feel different.”
He dropped one hand and dragged it through his hair, pacing one step away before stopping and turning back to me. “If I attacked immediately, we would have killed foot soldiers. That’s it, no information.”
“And if they shot me?” I shot back, stepping toward him.
“They wouldn’t.”
“You can’t know that.” I pointed at him, my hand shaking.
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His eyes darkened. He stepped closer again. “I know.”
“You’re not God, Damien.”
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His nostrils flared slightly. His jaw clenched. “I positioned myself between their line of fire every time.”
I replayed it in my head, squeezing my eyes shut for a second.
“You could have miscalculated,” I whispered, opening my eyes again.
“I didn’t.”
I shook my head, blinking hard as tears burned behind my eyes. “You scared me.”
His expression shifted, just a fraction. His shoulders dropped slightly.
His jaw clenched again. “That’s what I’m trying to understand, they don’t know what you are.”
“Exactly,” I lifted my chin.
He went still, eyes narrowing slightly.
“Rogues can’t really shift properly,” he said after a moment, folding his arms across his chest. “Not like that.”
I frowned, tilting my head. “What do you mean?”
“Their strength is unstable. They burn through it too fast.” He looked past me, thinking. “Most of them struggle to hold wolf form long.”
“But the ones in the cave.” I stepped closer again.
“They were holding it.”
“Yes.”
“That’s not normal.” He shook his head once.
I stared at him. “So what does that mean?”
“It means someone stronger is backing them.” His mouth flattened. “Someone organized, someone feeding them power.”
My stomach dropped. I wrapped my arms around myself. “You didn’t expect that.”
“No.”
“You sound worried.” I studied his face.
His jaw tightened again. “I am.”
“You still used me,” I said quietly.
He stepped forward immediately, closing the space. “No.”
He lifted a hand and cupped my face again, gentler this time, thumb brushing just
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under my eye. “I would not sacrifice you, ever.”
I pushed both hands against his chest. “I’m not a chess piece.”
“I know.”
“Then don’t move me like one.”
“I miscalculated your fear,” he admitted quietly.
“That’s not the same as miscalculating the situation.”
He nodded once, slow. “You’re right.”
I blinked, surprised at how easily he said it.
“I won’t do that again,” he said.
I didn’t answer. I just looked at him.
He slid one arm under my thighs again and lifted me back into his arms without asking, holding me tighter this time, his hand splayed wide across my back.
“I’m sorry,” he said again against my hair, his chin resting briefly on the top of my head.” I should have killed them sooner.”
“I don’t care about them,” I muttered, pressing my face into his chest again. “I care about you thinking you can gamble with me.”
“I didn’t gamble.” His hand rubbed slowly up and down my back.
“It felt like it.”
He started walking again, slower now, adjusting me slightly higher against him.
“I won’t let anyone turn you into leverage,” he said quietly, his grip firm. “Not even me.”
I pressed my face into his chest, my fingers curling into his shirt again, still mad, still scared.
“You better not,” I whispered.
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