Chapter 152
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Eliminated. Expelled.
The two words bounce around in my skull like that old DVD logo around a screen as I fold the last of my measly belongings into my
suitcase.
The events of the last ten hours seem like a fever dream. Finding out about–shudder–Lucy and Lucas. Revealing the truth about Lucas to
Nathan.
That awful, awful fight.
Peter asking me to stay in his room. Me ignoring his instruction, thinking only about Nathan’s safety, forgetting that I was in a place I wasn’t supposed to be.
Samuel coming in, that cold satisfaction on his face as he said, “Well, April, you know what happens now, don’t you?”
Expelled. Eliminated.
I take a deep, steadying breath, zipping up my suitcase.
It doesn’t matter, not really.
I slip my hand under my pillow and exhale as my fingers close over the little velvet box.
It doesn’t matter because Nathan and I have our own plan, far from the machinations of the competition.
We’re getting married, we’re leaving.
I press the box to my chest and close my eyes, willing the tears burning at the back of my eyes not to spill.
It doesn’t matter that I haven’t seen Nathan since I was escorted out of the west wing and did a walk of shame back to my room.
It doesn’t matter that when I turned to get a last glimpse at him, he wasn’t looking at me, staring pointedly at the floor.
We have a plan. It will all be okay.
I don’t have the stomach for breakfast. I don’t think I can handle the murmurs that will silence when I walk into the room, the judging
gazes. And Eliza, looking at me like a stranger.
I grab my suitcase and lift it off the bed just as a soft knock sounds at the door.
“Come in.” My voice sounds empty, drained of all life.
Lucy steps in, wringing her hands. Her head is downcast, her hair still loose around her shoulders.
A pang hits me. I can’t do anything for her, I’m going to leave her here and Lucas…
“Oh, Lucy,” I say softly.
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Chapter 152
She looks up at me, her eyes watering. “I’m so sorry,” she chokes out, trembling. “I’m so sorry, Miss April
I want to ask her what she means, but I already know. She feels guilty,
She thinks she’s responsible for my elimination.
Mental fatigue weighs me down, and I don’t have it in me to convince her otherwise, to drill into her head that she’s a victim, not a
perpetrator.
So, instead, I spread my arms open, and she steps into my embrace without hesitation.
I cradle her head to my chest, even though she’s taller than me, and gently stroke her hair. She clings to me, sobbing, telling me hear sorry she is over and over again.
When her sobs subside a little, I pull back slightly, cupping her face. “I don’t know how,” I whisper, “but I’ll find a way to make things right.”
She blinks, eyes watery. “I don’t…I don’t understand.”
I sigh. “Neither do 1. But I won’t forget you, I swear.”
She smiles, soft and sad. “I’m so sorry this happened.”
I shake my head. “It’s not your fault.”
Like 1 predicted, she doesn’t believe me. She sniffs. “If I hadn’t-”
I shake my head again. “Don’t.”
Because if she spirals down the tunnel of ifs, then so will I.
If I hadn’t told Nathan.
If I had listened to Peter.
I shake my head again. No use now.
A presence at the door attracts our attention, and we both turn to see jessica:
“Miss April,” she says softly, sounding like she’s holding back tears of her own. I hope she succeeds.
I don’t have it in me to console anyone else when I feel like I’m barely holding myself together.
It’s okay. We have a plan.
This doesn’t matter.
I repeat that mantra to myself as Jessica takes my suitcase and I follow her out into the hall.
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The girls are still having breakfast, and I’m glad for that. The less of an audience I have, the better-
“Apri
1 turn around, surprised to see Eliza standing at the entrance to the dining hall.
“Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?” she asks, her voice thick with hurt.
1 blink. “1-1 didn’t think you would want to-”
She closes the distance between us and throws her arms around my neck, pulling me in close.
I’m stunned for two seconds before I wrap my arms around her waist, sinking into my friend’s embrace.
“I hate this,” she mumbles, her voice muffled by my hair.
“Yeah,” I sigh.
She pulls back, and I want to groan at the tears brimming in her eyes. I can’t do this, I’m teetering on the edge of a cliff, and I feel like a breath will tip me over, and I’ll dive first into my overwhelming emotions.
“Will…” Her voice wobbles. “Will you be okay?”
I take a deep breath. This isn’t the end. We have a plan. “Yes.”
She tries to force a smile but is unsuccessful.
“You still have my number?”
My lips wobble. “You’d want me to call you?”
She frowns. “Of course. You don’t want to call me?”
“No, 1-1 take a steadying breath. “I just thought…I don’t know, maybe you’d think you were better off without me.”
Eliza pulls me back into her embrace. “You have a lot of explaining to do,” she says. “But you’re my friend.”
She pulls back again and looks me in the eyes like she wants me to see her sincerity when she says, “I love you.”
My vision blurs momentarily Shit. “I love you too, I choke out, furiously blinking back tears.
She smuffs “Call me, April. After all this is over”
I manage a teasing smile. “You’ll be an Ashford then. Are you sure you’ll want to talk to a mere peasant?”
She chokes out a watery laugh, but before she can reply, the girls start filing out of the dining room, and my back stiffens
Eliza notices and squeezes my hand “Go on then,” she whispers. “And give my love to June.”
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1 return her gesture and spin on my heels before I can make eye contact with any of the girls.
Outside the familiar black car idles, waiting to take me back to my shitty apartment and my shitty life.
That most for long, I remind mysell.
This doesn’t matter. We have a plan. Eliza will still get her sister–wife.
All will be well.
I take the first step towards the car–and freeze.
Inexplicable dread seizes me, a sharp niggling feeling that if I enter that car, if I drive away, then it’ll be the end.
But it can’t be.
Because we have a plan. We-
My feet are already moving before I can stop them.
But not towards the car.
Back inside the house–to the west wing.
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Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
