Chapter 205
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Nathan and 1 spend most of the afternoon at The Blue Couch. He lays his head on my shoulder and listens as I explain the nuances of the jacket I’m sketching.
Afterward, we walk through the soft Parisian twilight, hand in hand. The air smells like roasted chestnuts and the sharp chill of evening.
We find a quiet bistro off Rue Saint–Dominique for dinner, all warm lighting and pressed linens, with a chalkboard menu and a sleepy waiter who pretends he doesn’t understand my staggered French, but is forced to take our order when Nathan cuts in fluently.
I’m too busy swooning at how sexy the language is, coming from Nathan’s mouth, even to be offended.
Over steak–frites and a shared crème brûlée, we talk–in a way we haven’t done before.
We talk about the future–about how we’re going to work around Nathan’s classes back at Harvard, and what he plans to do after he graduates.
I worry about whether he can cope with everything that’s been going on, plus his decision to split his time like this.
“It’s a lot of miles,” he says, cutting into his fork. “But I can do it. Cumulatively, it’s a few more months, and I’ll be done.”
“I can’t wait.”
He sighs. “Look, April, I know this isn’t what you were originally expecting. It’s not the comfortable life I promised to give you.”
I shake my head. “You know I don’t care about all that.” I reach across the table and interlace our fingers. “As long as I have you, I don’t need anything else. We’ll figure it all out.”
He nods. “Together.”
I smile. “I think that’s my favorite word.”
He chuckles, raising our hands to place a kiss on the back of mine. “Mine’s ‘forever.“”
I snort. “Together forever.”
He wrinkles his nose. “That is nauseatingly cheesy. I love it.”
I blink fast, my eyes stinging. The glow from the candles softens everything–Nathan’s face, his voice, the entire restaurant–and I wish I could pause this moment, take a picture, and frame it forever.
“I love you.”
His smile illuminates me from inside. “That is my favorite sentence.”
“Good. You’re going to hear it a lot.”
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18:26 Wed, Oct 22
Chapter 205
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Back at my apartment, I unlock the door with trembling fingers, still half in disbelief. Nathan follows me in, quiet, his eyes trained on me,
My studio apartment is modest, but larger than what I’m used to.
There’s a small kitchenette fucked in one corner, a bed neatly made on the far side, and soft light spills across the polished wooden floors from the tall windows that open out to the quiet shimmer of Paris at night.
It’s not much, but it’s mine–it’s about to be ours.
I close the door behind us, and for a moment, we just stand there, the hush of the city humming outside.
“Welcome home,” I whisper.
Then Nathan steps closer, brushes a thumb across my cheekbone. “You’re my home.”
Pressure builds in the back of my throat. “Now who’s nauseatingly cheesy?”
He laughs softly and leans in. His kiss is soft at first, familiar and searching.
I melt into it, curling my fingers into the front of his coat to pull him closer.
His coat falls first, then mine. He lifts my sweater slowly, like unwrapping something precious, his fingertips grazing bare skin with a reverence that sends heat curling low in my belly.
I tug impatiently at the scarf around his neck, and he laughs against my mouth, breathless.
We move toward the couch, our bodies tangled and urgent in that quiet, aching way that comes from missing someone too long.
He lowers me gently onto the cushions, and I pull him with me, knees bumping, hands sliding under layers. The lights filtering in through the window, paint golden stripes across his skin.
His mouth trails kisses down my throat, across my collarbone, as if relearning every part of me.
“Nathan,” I whisper, breath catching.
He lifts his head, eyes dark and tender. “I missed you. Every part of you.”
I nod, heart pounding. “Show me.”
The smile he gives me almost stops my heart.
“First…” he says, pulling back. I sit up in time to see him digging through the pocket of his coat.
My heart slows as he pulls out a familiar velvet box.
“This…” he says softly, opening it to reveal the ring–my ring. The one he gave me the first time, the one I gave back with shaking hands and a shattered heart. “…belongs to you.”
The world tilts.
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18:26 Wed, Oct 22
Chapter 205
I look at the ring for a long time. Then I look at Nathan.
And I shake my head.
“Nathan,” I whisper, my voice breaking. “No.”
His eyes widen slightly. “April-”
:
“I love you,” I say quickly, holding his face in my hands. “God, I love you more than my heart can take.”
I look back down at the ring and shake my head again. “But I can’t take that. At least not yet.”
“Why?” he whispers.
I smile softly and press a kiss to his lips. “Because it all happened so fast. We happened so fast. And there was pressure and heartache and now…” I sigh. “You’re not even permanently here yet, and this–Paris–it’s all so new and exciting, and I’m still finding my feet.”
My thumb smoothens the crease between his brows.
“I’m not saying no forever,” I add. “Just…not now. I need time to breathe. To grow into this new version of me, to explore everything my new life has to offer. I want you to be my boyfriend, my roommate, my best friend.”
I lean forward and press my forehead against his. “And then, when we’re ready, my fiancée–and then my husband.”
Nathan closes his eyes and chuckles softly. “You’re so much more sensible than I am.”
I laugh. “Don’t worry, that’s why you have me to hold your hand through life.”
He wraps his arms around me. “Make no mistake, April Farrah, I will marry you.”
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I nod. “I have no doubt about that.”
Then he kisses me again, and it feels like a promise that doesn’t need a ring to be real.
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Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
