Chapter 80
Two emotions run through me at the sight of Nathan.
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Pain–so sharp and sudden that I gasp, caught off–guard. And betrayal–but I felt that the moment he said my name on that stage.
For a moment, I just blink, wondering if he’s really here or a figment of my imagination.
Then he runs his hand through his hair and swears softly. “Fuck, April, I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
A strangled sound falls out of my lips as I stand abruptly. I back away from Nathan as he moves towards me, and he freezes, hurt flashing in his eyes.
As if he’s the one with a right to feel hurt.
“April.” His voice is strangled, and I hate how my skin tingles at the mere sound. “Please let me—”
I spin on my heels and start to walk–run, actually–away. No fucking way am I going to let him explain.
So he can tell me it was all fake? None of it mattered? Absolutely not.
I barely take five hurried steps when I feel a hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back.
I was moving too fast, and the force with which Nathan pulls me catches me off guard, so I stumble forward–right into his chest.
Nathan catches me across the waist, hugging me to him.
“It’s okay,” he whispers, and my eyes snap up to meet his. “I got you.”
Fresh tears brim in my eyes. My hand is splayed on his chest, directly over his heart, and I can feel it beating wildly. My body is pressed tightly against him, and I hate how good it feels.
With great effort, I shove him back, standing steady on my feet. His hands slip from around my waist as he takes one staggering step backward.
“Stay the fuck away from me,” I hiss, stepping back. “I don’t want to see you ever again.”
Nathan shakes his head. “April, let me explain-”
“Explain what?” I hate how my voice sounds–wobbly and weak. “Explain how you were cold last night and needed a warm body to lie with? Explain how everything you said to me last night and this morning were bald–faced lies?” I shake my head, hugging my arms around myself.
“Just how obvious and pathetic were my feelings for you that you felt the need to take advantage of them and humiliate me?”
“It’s not like that!”
“Then how is it like?”
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Chapter 80
Nathan huffs. “I’m trying to protect you, April.”
I rear back. “What?”
He tugs at his hair. “I didn’t lie to you, April. Not one single thing I said last night and this morning was lie.”
“You said you wanted to marry me,” I hiss, “and then you humiliated me.”
“I do want to marry you.”
“Then why the hell am I going home tomorrow?!”
“Because!” Nathan lets out a frustrated groan. “You can’t be an Ashford.”
I scoff. “Why? Because I’m-”
“No,” he cuts me off. “Not because of your background or any of that inconsequential bullshit.”
“Then why?”
Instead of an answer, Nathan pauses, takes a breath, and then looks at me. “It’s you, isn’t it?”
I blink. “Huh?”
“I saw the picture on your dresser–the one you hid when I left your room to change.”
Something clangs in my chest.
“You went to Adler High,” Nathan continues, no longer asking questions. “You went to Ryan Freston’s party. You played Truth or Dare with us, and when asked to kiss the most attractive guy in the room, you chose me.”
For a second, I just stare at Nathan, my brain rapidly trying to find an answer, a response to his revelation.
He finally recognized me, but this is not how I thought it would go.
A sharp burst of laughter shoots through the tightness in my chest and falls from my lips.
“Is that what this is?” I ask, suddenly breathless.
Nathan frowns. “What?”
I shake my head, laughing again. “You figured out who I am. I’m April Farrah, and you’d rather eat shit than kiss me–oh wait…” I shoot him a bitter smirk. “You already kissed me. Several times.” I tilted my head to the side. “Are you craving shit now?”
His face contorted in pain. “Don’t you see, April? I hurt you back then, and if you marry into my family you’re only going to get hurt worse. You’re going to get sucked into all the drama and the skeleton closets and-”
“You didn’t consider any of these last night!”
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Chapter 80
“Because last night was like a dream! It felt like we were hovering far above the earth. I came back home and it was like I crash landed. My family sucks, April; I care too much about you to be a part of that,”
“You suck,” I whisper.
“April-
“You suck!”
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Nathan closes his eyes and inhales deeply. “Yes, I suck.”
“And you’re a liar.”
“April.”
“You’re a liar.” I sniff. “If the things you said were true, you wouldn’t do this to me. You wouldn’t send me away.” A tear slides down my cheek, and I wipe it away with a curse. “You wouldn’t hurt me like this.”
“They weren’t lies, April,” he says, his voice strained. “I do want to be with you.”
I scoff. “What, you’re going to marry whoever wins and keep me as a mistress like your father does?”
Nathan flinches like I slapped him, but I can’t bring myself to care. He deserves to feel an iota of the pain he’s caused me.
“I am nothing like my father.”
I nod. A feeling of numbness suddenly spreads through me, and my tears dry up. “So it’s settled then. You’ll marry whoever wins your hand; you’ll be a good, faithful husband. And I’ll return to my old life scraping by while barely keeping my head above water. I’ll forget all about this experience and about you; it’ll be like I never met you.”
Nathan’s eyes widen as if this is the first time he’s considering the consequences of his actions.
“No,” he whispers.\
I nod. “Yes. This is what you chose.”
“No,” he repeats. “No.”
I throw my head back, staring up at the night sky in a bid to stop more tears from falling. The moon isn’t out, but there’s a light smattering of stars.
“It’s whatever.” I shrug, still looking up at the sky.
“It’s not like we were really a thing. It’s been, what, twenty–four hours?” I scoff and finally look back at Nathan. “That’s barely a fling. I-”
The rest of the words are swallowed by Nathan’s lips smashing onto mine.
