Chapter 81
I think I gasp or squeak–whatever sound I make, Nathan’s lips muffle it.
At first, I press my hands against his chest, trying to push him away. I don’t want this–I don’t want him scrambling my mind and making me lose all my inhibitions with his drugging kiss.
But when Nathan doesn’t budge, instead deepening the kiss, my weak as fuck resolve melts, and so do 1.
I wrap my arms around him, holding on tight because it doesn’t matter what I just said. The thought of leaving, of being away from Nathan after coming so close, shatters my heart into a million pieces.
Nathan splays a hand against my back, smooshing our bodies together. I can feel his heart pounding wildly against my chest, and i know he can feel mine, too.
This kiss is unlike the one we shared in my room. It’s not slow or hesitant or sweet. It’s fierce and hungry and fills me with a heat that threatens to burn me from the inside out.
I can feel Nathan’s frustrations from the way his lips move against mine, the way his tongue powerfully dances with mine, the strength in his arms as he holds me tight against him.
My frustrations manifest in another way–in the ache pooling deep in my belly, in the electricity sparking through my veins, in the heat of my blood.
Thankfully, the garden sprinklers are more than happy to help with the last one.
I yelp as I feel a sharp, cold spray of water hit my back. The surprise also makes Nathan release me as the sprinklers come on around the garden pavilion, drenching both of us in seconds.
I shut my eyes instinctively as a spray of water hits me smack in the face.
“Water from above, and now, water from below,” Nathan says with a sigh. “I guess you and I are just destined to get drenched when we’re together.”
I don’t know where the laugh comes from, but it soothes the ache in my chest as it flows through, coming out of my mouth in sharp spurts, till I’m full–on chortling as the sprinklers bathe Nathan and me.
His hand slips through mine, and I turn to him, opening one eye to appraise him. His hair is damp, flopping against his forehead endearingly.
“Come on,” he whispers, tugging me along.
Feeling weak from the force of emotions I just expressed and the sizzling kiss we just shared, I let Nathan pull me along.
He doesn’t lead me through the front door I came out of. Instead, we pass the adjacent entrance, which I passed to head to the infirmary.
I don’t know how long I spent outside crying and cursing out Nathan, but it must have been a while because the house is silent when we enter, like everyone has retired to bed.
Nathan doesn’t let go of my hand as we walk into the hall, leaving wet trails in our wake. I let him hold me, if only because this is the
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15:11 Mon, Oct 6
Chapter 81
last time and the feeling of my hand in his is one of my favorite things in the world.
B
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When we reach the hallway with the stairs leading to the east and west wings, I head to the east wing without a backward glance. I don’t think I can say goodbye.
Saying goodbye to Nathan Ashford might wreck me.
As I move, however, Nathan still doesn’t let go of my hand and instead tugs me back.
I turn to look at him, then. His lips are pressed tightly together, and his eyes hold so much intense emotion that my pulse quickens just by looking into them.
“Please,” he whispers.
“What more do you want?” I sigh.
“A chance to explain,” he answers. “Properly.”
“Does it matter?”
He nods vehemently.
“So where-”
I pause when I see him glance towards the west wing.
“The west wing is out of bounds for co-” I sigh and shake my head. “I guess that doesn’t apply to me anymore.”
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