Chapter 99
“Hi,” Nathan says softly.
I inhale sharply. His hair is tousled every which way as if he’s been running his hands through it, and he looks morose.
“Hi,” I exhale.
“Can we…” He seems to brace himself. “Can we talk?”
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I don’t really want to talk.
But I do want to throw my arms around him and kiss that look on his face away.
So, I compromise. I take Nathan’s hand and intertwine our fingers, pulling him into my room.
I close the door softly behind him, glancing at June to make sure she’s still asleep.
She’s dead to the world, cuddling Bun Bun.
I tilt my head towards the bathroom, and Nathan lets me lead him inside.
When I shut the door and turn back to face him, my breath stills. The en–suite bathroom in my room features a clawfoot bathtub, a separate oversized shower, a walk–in linen closet for towels and bath products, and a large vanity and sink.
It is by no means small–it’s, in fact, twice the size of my kitchen at home. Yet, with Nathan here, the space seems to shrink, and I feel like I’ve pulled us into a tiny broom closet.
I loosen my grip on his hand, intending to pull back, but Nathan’s hand flexes and tightens around mine, leaving me no choice but to struggle to breathe in the tiny, tiny space.
“What are you thinking?” His voice is soft, like a light caress against my skin.
I swallow. Like many, many times before this, being around Nathan makes it hard to think, so I don’t know how to answer that question.
He takes a step forward, his grip still firm on my hand, so I can’t back up.
“Want to know what I think you’re thinking?”
I nod.
He reaches out with his other hand and gently tucks my hair behind my ear. I close my eyes, fighting the urge to lean into him.
“You feel like an imposter,” Nathan whispers. “You’re thinking that because you weren’t supposed to be in this competition that you don’t deserve the experiences you’ve had, the friends you’ve made…me.”
I open my eyes to find him gazing at me intently. “You think you don’t deserve it all. And because it shouldn’t have been yours to begin with, you think you’re going to lose it all.”
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Chapter 99
My mouth drops open slightly, I’ve never felt so transparent in my life.
My surprised gasp bounces off the tiled walls of the bathroom when Nathan leans down, grabs me around my waist, and lifts me like I weigh nothing.
He deposits me on the vanity countertop. It’s higher than a standard counter, so the action puts us at eye level.
His hands grip my thighs, and he spreads them, stepping between my legs. I’ve stopped breathing, feeling little fires start everywhere his hands touch.
“Did I get it right?” Nathan asks. His voice is steady, as if this is normal for him, like he’s completely unaware of what he’s doing to me.
I, on the other hand, don’t trust myself to speak.
So, still mute, I nod.
Nathan exhales, and his warm breath fans my lips.
“Please say something, April.”
I close my eyes and force my airways to take in oxygen. Nathan’s hands are fiddling with the hem of my nightshirt, and every time his fingers accidentally brush my skin, my pulse spikes dangerously.
“You’re right.” My voice is barely above a whisper, but at least it’s steady. “I—I feel like I’m living someone else’s life.”
Nathan doesn’t say anything, patiently waiting for me to continue.
“I feel like I stole her life. Like I’m a replacement–and not a good one. If April Farrow had come instead of me, she wouldn’t have caused that whole ruckus on the first day. She wouldn’t have been sneaking around, seen what she wasn’t supposed to see and gotten a maid fired. She would have been a crowd favorite–but for the right reasons, not because she’s a charity case, Cinderella fantasy.” I swallow hard. “She would be perfect for you.”
Nathan waits a little longer, then says, “Are you done?”
I nod.
He exhales.
“Remember on the first day when you said you were going to leave, and I went to talk to my parents?”
I nod.
“That was when we discovered the error. The family’s PR representative made a mistake with the files, and you got an acceptance letter. But so did April Farrow.”
My brows knit. “What?”
Nathan shrugs. “Your acceptance was a mistake. But after she realized the mistake, she printed out April Farrow’s acceptance and didn’t properly discard yours. So, both were accidentally sent out.”
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Chapter 99
“But
“April Farrow turned it down,” he says. “Just like three other girls did.”
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His fingers bunch around the fabric of my shirt. “You didn’t replace anybody. You didn’t steal anybody’s life. If April Farrow was in the competition, everything would have happened exactly the way it did. Nothing could change that.”
Nathan steps in closet, and my thighs instinctively clamp around his waist.
“April, whether we met in this competition, at a random party somewhere, or if I hadn’t been so fucking blind back in school, it would all be the same. You would still be you–beautiful, kind, sarcastic, talented, and fierce.”
He’s close enough that the space between our lips is practically nonexistent. “And you would still have captured my heart and made me fall for you. Nobody is perfect for me but you.”
“I–I’m not fierce.” Now my voice is shaky.
His breath of laughter washes over me like a warm hug. “Are you kidding? You have no idea how you look when you’re defending your sister–or telling me off.”
He closes that minuscule distance and presses his lips to mine. “It’s hot.”
‘Hot‘ is the perfect way to explain how I feel right now–but not in the sexy way Nathan means.
All my nerve endings are like individual pieces of kindling being set aflame one after the other, and I feel like if Nathan doesn’t move back, I’ll combust.
Yet my hands grip his shirt, preventing him from doing just that. Not like he seems interested in leaving, anyway.
No, Nathan seems perfectly content between my legs, igniting feelings and sensations I never even knew existed.
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