Chapter 189
Caspar’s POV:
At 7:30 p.m., my Maybach came to a stop in front of the hotel.
I adjusted my tie, feeling an unusual tightness in my chest.
James stepped out and opened my door with practiced efficiency, but
his expression seemed oddly hesitant.
“Sir,” he said nervously as I emerged from the car, “Are you really not
going to think it over carefully again?”
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
James glanced around discreetly before leaning closer.
“Evening… hotel… a private room… We’re both adults, I understand,
but if Ms. Lane were to find out-”
I shot him an icy glare that made him immediately straighten up.
“Are you implying I’m here for some illicit rendezvous?”
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“Isn’t that the case, sir?” James looked genuinely confused.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, James,” I said coldly.
“I’m here to meet Noah’s mother.”
His eyes widened, genuine alarm replacing his previous discomfort.
His face paled considerably. “That’s… that’s even worse, sir!”
“Those relationships are the most complicated kind. If Ms. Lane finds
out about this meeting, she’ll certainly misunderstand.”
“That’s not your concern,” I replied, turning toward the entrance.
“Sir,” James persisted, taking a step forward.
“Perhaps I should accompany you? As a witness? Otherwise, if
questions arise later, even the Hudson River won’t be enough to clear
your name.”
I hesitated, fingering the hotel key card in my pocket.
Was I making a mistake coming here alone without telling Audrey?
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“Wait in the car, James,” I finally decided, my voice leaving no room
for argument.
“I’ll handle this myself.”
James nodded reluctantly and stepped back toward the Maybach.
I turned and strode into the hotel alone.
The lobby of the hotel gleamed with understated luxury.
Outside the double doors of the reserved room, I paused.
ستا
Taking a deep breath, I pulled out my phone and dialed Audrey’s
number.
Audrey’s POV:
I glanced at my watch and frowned.
It was almost eight o’clock in the evening.
Amelia and Caspar should have met by now.
My hands faltered as I absently organized Noah’s painting supplies.
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“Ms. Lane? Is everything alright?”
I looked up to find Amy watching me with concern.
“Of course,” I smiled, though it felt stiff on my face.
“Just thinking about something.”
“You’ve organized those brushes three times now,” she pointed out
gently.
I looked down, realizing she was right.
Why was I so distracted? So what if Caspar was meeting Amelia?
It wasn’t as if we had defined whatever was between us.
And yet, the thought of him concealing her identity, of potentially rekindling something with Noah’s mother–it gnawed at me.
“I need to check something in my study,” I said, setting down the
container.
“Would you mind keeping an eye on Noah for a few minutes?”
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Amy nodded, and I escaped to find someplace quiet where I could
breathe.
Instead of heading to my study, I slipped out onto the small terrace
adjacent to the study.
The night air was crisp with early autumn, carrying the faint scent of
the gardens below.
I pulled out a cigarette.
My fingers trembled slightly as I flicked the lighter once, twice, three
times.
The flame refused to catch, and a chill ran down my spine at the
small failure.
A bad omen, perhaps.
You’re being ridiculous, I scolded myself.
Since when do you believe in omens?
Finally, the lighter caught, and I took a deep drag, tilting my head
back to look at the stars.
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The vast expanse of sky had always calmed me, made my problems
seem smaller.
What was the worst that could happen?
If Caspar wanted to be with Amelia, to give Noah his biological
mother, then that was his choice.
It would hurt–I couldn’t deny that–but I’d survived worse. Much
worse.
I’d rebuild, start over. I always did.
And Noah… The thought of Noah hurt more than anything else.
If Amelia returned to his life, would he still reach for my hand when he was scared? Would he still show me his paintings with that shy
pride in his eyes?
I took another drag, exhaling slowly.
He’d still need you, I told myself. Just… less.
And wasn’t that what I’d always planned?
To help him, to guide him, but never to become essential?
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The irony wasn’t lost on me.
I’d spent all this time trying not to let Noah and Caspar grow too
attached to me, and here I was, panicking at the thought of them
needing me less.
What had happened to the Audrey who took life as it came?
The woman who never looked back, never worried about tomorrow?
Somewhere between Noah’s first smile at me and Caspar’s intense
gaze, I’d lost that part of myself.
I’d become cautious, calculating, constantly anticipating loss.
I hated it. I hated feeling this way.
It wasn’t who I was, or at least, not who I wanted to be.
I crushed the cigarette under my heel, deciding to head back inside.
Before I could turn, my phone vibrated in my pocket.
I pulled it out, my heart skipping when I saw Caspar’s name on the
screen.
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My thumb hovered over the answer button as possibilities flooded my
mind.
Was he calling to tell me about Amelia? To say he was bringing her home to meet Noah? To ask me to step aside?
The phone continued to vibrate in my hand, demanding an answer I
wasn’t sure I was ready to give.
