Chapter 105
Noah
Ever since last night–since that scene, since the most humiliating,
insane, and fucking exciting thing I’d ever done in my life–I couldn’t
stop thinking.
Coming all over Master Hale’s hands… Jesus. The memory made my
stomach twist and my skin crawl, but also heat in places I didn’t want
to admit. It felt wrong. It felt like a betrayal. A betrayal of the trust
I’d given Aiden, of the boundaries I thought we had.
And yet… it hadn’t been. Because he was right there, pleasuring me and allowing me to be pleasured by someone else—which really was
kinda selfless. Aiden was with me, over me, commanding me, telling
me I was safe. And I had trusted him. With my whole damn heart, I
had trusted him. The fear, the shame it had all burned away in the
fire of knowing that, even though I would’ve given him anything he
wanted, he had chosen my pleasure. And that I was completing the
performance by surrendering to the pleasure, not fighting it.
I hadn’t been focusing on Hale–no matter how stupidly sexy the man
was. No. My eyes, my mind, everything was locked on Aiden. My god. My owner. If anyone else touched me, it was only because he allowed
- it. Because he wanted it. Because he wanted me. That was the only
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Chapter 105
reason I could take it–enjoy it even.
But afterwards? Instead of proud, he’d seemed… different.
Withdrawn. Distant.
Did I do something wrong by letting it happen? Did I fuck up by
accepting Hale’s touch? Was Sir mad that I came in another man’s
hand–even though he gave the permission? Was it some kind of test I
failed?
And how the hell could I even be obsessing over that when the real
question should’ve been: what the fuck did I just do? I’d been naked
in front of a crowd of strangers, strapped down, whipped until I cried,
then touched until I came in another man’s hand. And here I was,
worried that Aiden might be upset with me?
I should’ve been furious. At him. At myself. At my fucked–up head and
the way I was slipping deeper into this madness every second. But I
wasn’t. All I could think about was him. The way he looked at me
after that scene, the way he held me after. The way he let me go this
morning without a word–without a kiss.
He hadn’t kissed me before I left, and I felt like the biggest goddamn
pussy for being butt–hurt about it. But I was. I hated myself for it, but
I was.
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Chapter 105
That was how I started my day.
Dragging myself into college with my head a mess. Conflicted,
ashamed, still aroused, terrified. If anyone ever knew… if a single
rumor of what I’d done got out… it would all be over. My reputation,
my image, my football career–gone. And yet here I was, obsessed,
compliant, fucked in the head, willing to throw it all away for him.
Worse, I was scared I’d ruined it already by getting off to that man,
and I was damn angry that he allowed it to happen in the first place.
Angry he didn’t kiss me. Angry, and scared, and completely out of my
mind.
*****
By the time I made it to the gym, I was already cracking inside my
own skull. The last thing I needed was Keon and Miguel waiting for
me outside the locker room like a couple of goddamn hawks.
“Where the hell were you Saturday night?” Miguel asked, smirking.
“You went to shower before joining us at the party, and then, poof.
Houdini act. By Sunday morning, nobody had heard from you.”
My stomach lurched. Shit. They’d noticed. Of course they had.
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Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
