Chapter 40
Aiden
4 58%#
The sun was brutal for June, beating down like summer had shown up late but with a vengeance. I stood at the top of the bleachers, sunglasses shielding my eyes as I watched the team finish up their third scrimmage. Sweat poured, shouts rang out, and cleats pounded the turf like thunder. And right in the center of it all–predictably–was Noah.
He played like a man possessed.
His every movement was laced with hunger, with something to prove. But it wasn’t just about impressing me anymore. No. I saw it in the way he grinned at a player when they high–fived after a touchdown. The way he patted Keon’s back, laughing breathless and flushed. The boy wanted to belong. Needed it.
And he was fighting hard for it.
For my approval, yes. For his scholarship. But also for their validation. He was trying to be theirs and mine–and I knew that was
unsustainable.
The conflict warred across his face whenever I pushed him. He’d nod obediently, respond with, Yes, Sir, in that low, slightly ragged voice he’d perfected over the past days. Then he’d walk off and crack a joke with Miguel to make himself seem… normal. Unbothered. As if I wasn’t training him to kneel and strip and beg in private.
It wasn’t rebellion. Not yet. But it was a boy desperate to juggle two lives. And he was slipping.
After the final whistle, I lingered.
I told myself it was to observe team dynamics, to get a feel for how the guys bonded off the clock. But the truth was, I wanted to see who Noah gravitated toward. Who gravitated toward him.
That’s when it happened.
Keon, still dripping with sweat, clapped him on the back.
“We’re heading out in a bit. Hitting the cove,” he said, nodding toward the distant coast just beyond the tree line. “You in?”
Miguel chimed in, “First real beach day of the summer. Gotta celebrate surviving Coach’s Death Week.”
Noah hesitated.
My stomach twisted before he even answered.
But he nodded, that easy smile sliding into place. “Yeah. I could use a swim.”
Miguel whooped and jogged ahead. Keon stuck around a second longer, offering a subtle warning. “Bring sunscreen. You’re built like the moon.”
Noah laughed. “Screw you.”
I turned without a word and made my way to the lot and when I reached the car, I stood by the passenger door, waiting.
1/4
14:26 Thu, Feb 5 GNB
Chapter 40
Five minutes passed.
Then tea.
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He finally jogged over, hair still damp, bag slung over one shoulder. “Hey, th…” He shifted. “I’m gonna ride with Keon. We’re heading to the
cove
I stared at him. “The cove.”
“Yeah. I mean… It’s just a beach hangout. You said training was on weekends, and it’s Thursday. I haven’t broken any rules.”
I kept my face unreadable. “And you thought I wouldn’t mind?*
“No, I just… I didn’t think you’d care, since we didn’t define evenings.”
I opened the driver door calmly. “Enjoy your outing.”
He blinked. “Wait… Are you mad?”
No.
“You sound mad.”
“I’m not.”
“I just-*
“Go, Noah.”
The way he faltered then–the guilt flashing in his eyes–almost made me relent. Almost…
But I got in the car and drove away. My thoughts getting the best of me.
It wasn’t that he’d gone. Not really. We were still in trial. Fridays to Monday mornings–that was the agreement. Nothing about evenings. No formal rule broken. He hadn’t lied. He hadn’t disobeyed. But he hadn’t asked either and that was what set my teeth on edge.
A submissive doesn’t ask for permission because of a rule.
He does it because he wants to belong. Because he wants to prioritize his Dominant. Because he fucking cares.
He should’ve wanted to stay.
The house was too quiet without him.
I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at my phone screen. No messages. He wasn’t thinking of me at all.
I tossed the phone aside and stood, pacing. I didn’t have training to run or papers to grade. Id showered and read a page of a book five times before giving up. Everything 1 touched felt hollow.
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14.25 Thu, Feb 5 BNB.
Chapter 40
I missed him, which was stupid.
He was just a trial submissive. Just another athlete under my care. Just another boy with confused eyes and too many questions. Right?
58%
Wrong
1 stood at the kitchen counter, arms braced on the cool marble, trying to steady my pulse. The image of him from last night flashed unbidden- his breath against my neck, his whimpers as I touched him in the shower our kiss. That trembling, open kiss that had made my resolve shatter
in my throat.
And now he was gone.
Swimming with teammates. Laughing, Drinking. Letting the world see what I had stripped bare. Letting others flirt with what I had bowed to discipline into submission.
I growled under my breath and grabbed my keys. Before I knew it, I found myself parked in the woods above the beach. Watching
Like a fucking creep.
They were easy to spot.
Noah was in the water. Swimming with lazy strokes, kicking up sprays as he dove and emerged, hair slicked back, face glowing with salt and sun. His laugh rang out across the breeze.
He wore trunks long enough to hide the bruises I’d painted onto him.
A flare of possession burned behind my ribs.
He was supposed to be healing. Reflecting. Centering himself for another week of training. Instead, he was out here, surrounded by teammates. Miguel–predictably shirtless and holding a beer–sat beside a group of girls, gesturing dramatically. Noah climbed out of the water, and one of the girls tossed him a towel, laughing at something he said. He dried his hair, smiling. Flirting.
My gut clenched.
He was… free. Smiling. Normal.
Not mine.
I watched him walk toward the group, sinking into the sand near a blonde girl who leaned in close. He didn’t push her away.
My fists curled around the steering wheel.
let
them. So I turned on the car and
He deserved a normal night–but I hated watching him take it. My emotions were spiraling, and I couldn’t drove off before I did something I’d regret.
I didn’t check my phone again. Not even when the message I finally sent him at 11:43 p.m. went unanswered.
He’d come back–be always did–but that didn’t make the jealousy any easier to swallow.
And it didn’t stop the truth clawing up my chest:
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14:27 Thu, Feb 5 BNB.
Chapter 40
I was already in deeper than I’d meant to go.
I had given him a choice–all or nothing. And if he thought he could choose all of me without consequence…
Then it was time I took what was mine.
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Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
