Chapter 59
By the time I left the locker room, the sun was already dipping low, and a inking feeling hit my stomach. For the first time since getting the keys, I wasn’t on my way to Aiden’s when I should’ve been.
As I headed there, part of me wished I could’ve opened up to Keon. Told him the truth about everything–about my family shit, the constant weight in my chest from wondering if Emily was safe, and my dysfunctional, unshakable pull to spend my evenings doing chores, kneeling at someone’s feet, and being sexually denied and dominated by our coach.
But telling him all that? I’d probably lose one of the only friends I had.
Even now–terrified of being late, wound so tight my skin felt too small, and stressed out of my mind about home–I still craved what waited
for me at Aiden’s
Not the punishments. Not the rules. Not the control.
The peace.
The safety i felt when we were in the same room, even if he was ordering me around. Even if he was withholding everything I wanted.
It didn’t make sense. But it was real. And it was mine.
By the time I pulled up at Aiden’s, the knot in my stomach felt like it had tripled in size. I braced myself for the look I’d get when I walked in -that sharp, assessing stare that made you feel like he’d already decided your fate before you spoke.
But when I stepped inside, he didn’t say anything.
The gin and tonic was already on the side table. The music was already playing–stow, low jazz–which meant I was late enough for him to have done both himself.
I kicked off my shoes, stripped down, and went to kneel like always, waiting for him to close the distance between us. Instead, his voice came from across the room.
“Here.”
I looked up. He was sitting in his chair, one leg crossed over the other, gaz steady but unreadable. He motioned to the spot in front of him,
I crossed the room on my knees and settled there, eyes dropping to the floor.
For a long moment, he didn’t speak. The only sound was the faint clink of ce in his glass.
Finally, he set it down. “Rough day?”
Yos. S
“I noticed.” he said simply. “At practice. And here.
swallowed. Twasn’t… focused,
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10:34 Fri, Feb 13 B BD
Chapter 59
My throat tightened. I could’ve told him–about Emily, about the phone call, about the way my father’s shadow had reached all the way actus the country to crawl under my skin and shake me until I could barely think straight
But I didn’t. I couldn’t bear the shame, couldn’t let him see how messy my life really was–how broken I was.
“I don’t know, I lied.
Silence stretched between us. He studied me like he was trying to see through my skin, but whatever answer he was searching for, he didn’t
find it.
When he spoke again, his voice had shifted–softer, but with a weight that left no question who was in control. “Tell me, Noah… What do you
think I should do now?*
I looked up, startled, “Su
“You were distracted on the field, you avoided me after practice, and you arrived late. I could decide for you.” His gaze lucked on mine, unblinking. “Or you could tell me what you need from your Master tonight
Of all the things I could’ve said–pampering, forgiveness, release–every single thing I truly needed….. I couldn’t imagine feeling comfort
through any of them.
Truth was, I didn’t think I deserved comfort. Or relief. Or the privilege of being here at all–craving sex, playing games–while my sister w
suffering in my place.
The guilt was a weight in my chest. The shame was worse. And there was only one way I could think of to burn it off, to get the kind of redemption I wanted.
I met his eyes, steady and certain. “I need you to punish me, Sir.”
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