Chapter 47
Fincs i was alons in the quirt homer, the reality of what had just happened hit me like a physical blow to the chest. Fd completely fallen apart at His mers possibility that Basun had found me.
All my training with Marens and Sarah, all my progress toward feeding stronger and more confident, all my determination to never he
A victim again. It had all crumbled the moment I thought I saw his familiar silhouette,
What dot that say slant me? About how far I’d really come? Maybe I was just fooling myself, playing dress–up in someone else’s idea
of strength white remaining the amme terrified girl I’d always been underneath
I wandered through the house aimlessly, turning on lights and checking locks even though I knew rationally that I was safe here, Tristan’s presence anally made the space feel warm and welcoming, but without him, it fell too big, too empty, too full of shadows where Threats could hide.
I waited for Tristan to come home, checking the clock every few minutes as the hours crawled by with agonizing slowness. Ten o’clock came and went with no sign of him. Then eleven. Then midnight struck on the old clock in the hallway, each chime echoing through the silent house like a countdown to something terrible,
Maybe he wasn’t coming back tonight. Maybe Seraphine needed him more than I did, and he’d decided to stay at the hospital to keep vigil by her bedside,
Alaybe he’d finally realised that taking on of his best friend’s broken sister was more of a burden than he’d signed up for when he
offered me a place to stay.
The thought shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, but it felt like another rejection, another confirmation that I was too damaged to be worth nyone’s sustained Contion
I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Daxon’s face not the stranger’s kind features, but the real face that still haunted
my nightmares.
I thought I heard his voice calling my name from somewhere in the darkness outside, that cruel tone he used to use when he was
hunting for me
our apartment after I’d tried to hide from one of his rages,
My hands wouldn’t stop shaking, and my heart kept racing like I’d been running for miles. The panic was building again, that familiar crushing weight on my chest that made it hard to breathe.
I needed to calm down. I needed to sleep so I could function tomorrow, so I could pretend to be okay when Tristan eventually came home and asked how my evening went. I couldn’t let him see me like this- falling apart over what turned out to be absolutely nothing.
My bag was sitting on the dresser where I’d dropped it earlier, and I stared at it for a long time before finally walking over and unzipping the front pocket with trembling fingers. The pill bottle was exactly where I’d left it, despite my solemn promises to myself that I’d never touch it again.
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Chapter 47
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The pills had been my escape during the worst months with Daxon, the only thing that could quiet the constant fear and anxiety enough for me to sleep through the night without waking up screaming. I’d been clean for months now, had been so proud of myself for learning to cope without chemical assistance.
But tonight felt different. Tonight felt like an emergency, like a situation where my usual coping mechanisms weren’t going to be
enough.
My hands were shaking so badly I could barely get the child–proof cap off the bottle. A few pills spilled onto the dresser, and I stared at them for a moment, tears already starting to fall down my cheeks.
“I’m safe,” I whispered to myself as I picked up the pills with trembling fingers. “Daxon can’t find me here. I’m thousands of miles
away from him. I’m safe.”
But even as I said the words, they felt hollow, meaningless. Safety felt like something that existed for other people, not for girls like
me who’d made such terrible choices and trusted the wrong person so completely.
“I’m safe,” I repeated, forcing the pills into my mouth before I could change my mind and throw them away like I should have. “Daxon
is far away. He doesn’t even know where I am. I’m safe.”
The bitter taste made me gag, but I swallowed them down with water from the glass by my bed. Within minutes, I could feel the familiar fog starting to settle over my thoughts, the sharp edges of my panic beginning to soften and blur.
I was already feeling drowsy, my eyelids growing heavy, when I heard the front door open downstairs. Footsteps on the stairs, quick
and urgent, taking them two at a time.
“Athena?” Tristan’s voice, calling my name with what sounded like genuine worry and maybe a hint of panic.
I tried to answer, to call out that I was okay, but my tongue felt thick and clumsy in my mouth. The room was starting to spin gently, and I could feel myself sliding sideways on the bed, my body no longer responding to my commands.
Maybe I’d taken too many. Maybe my tolerance wasn’t what it used to be after months of being clean. The thought should have scared me, should have sent me into full panic mode, but the pills were making everything feel far away and unimportant, like it was happening
to someone else.
The last thing I remembered was Tristan bursting through my bedroom door, his face white with panic as he rushed toward me, his hands reaching out to catch me before I could fall completely.
“Stay with me,” I heard him saying, though his voice sounded like it was coming from very far away, echoing down a long tunnel. “I’m sorry I left you. I’m so sorry. Just stay with me, Athena.”
But the darkness was already pulling me under, and I couldn’t fight it anymore.
Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
