Chapter 151
“How was today’s session?” Gianna asked as soon as we got to the office.
We drove in the same car, but she didn’t ask me that.
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I said nothing and just moved to my desk. I was tired and really wanted to go home, but the work keeps increasing every day, and it was really tiring.
It has been three days since that day with Kade, and I haven’t heard a single word from him. But why will I? I knew that was the end when he left that day, and yet I still watched his back and did nothing.
“Gianna, do you think we’re friends?” I asked from nowhere.
“We’re not,” she answered immediately, and I scoffed. “But I think we can be.”
I raised my head and looked at her in surprise, my eyes wide. “What?”
“I used to believe an employer and employee should keep their relationship within that boundary, but I was wrong. I have no friends, and neither do you, and we spend more time with each other than we do with every other person, so I thought, ‘Why can’t we be friends?“”
“So…” I swallowed when my throat felt too tight. “So you’re saying you’ll be my friend?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
I scoffed. “Geez, after all these years.”
Her lips curled up in a small, rare smile. “You were quite persistent.”
I chuckled, the sound a little choked. “I guess I am.” But my smile dropped. “But why can’t I be persistent with him? Why do I keep hurting the two of us?”
“The two of you’s relationship is more complicated than just mere friendship, so I don’t think it’ll be easy for you to be persistent with him.”
I rested my head on my desk, closing my eyes. “But I want to be, though.”
“But did Lucia say?”
“She she said…”
I recalled our conversation, the hard, yet tender look in her eyes. How she looked like she cared for me and was also scolding.
me to do better.
She had said, “I need you to do something for me.”
I nodded. “What is it?”
But she just glared at me. “Don’t ask me if you’re not going to do as I want”
I groaned. “I told you I would listen, didn’t I?”
“I really hope you do. I need you to think of yourself, Belladonna.”
I blinked at her. “But I do think of myself.”
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Chapter 151
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She shook her head. “No. No, you fucking don’t. You don’t positively think of yourself. Your head and thoughts are always in the wrong, always in the negative places. I need you to see yourself in the light. I need you to see yourself as someone who deserves to be happy. You’re the reason someone’s dead, yes, but like I asked you in our last session, I will ask again; was it you that pulled the trigger?”
I stayed silent, just kept my head down. I was afraid that if I spoke, tears would burst out.
But Lucia was a bitch and she wouldn’t let me maintain my silence. “Answer me, Belladonna.”
I took a deep breath. “N–no.”
“No what?”
Sometimes, I really didn’t like Lucia. “No, I didn’t pull the trigger:”
“Then was it you that ordered the hitman to kill him?”
Even though my eyes were squeezed tight, a tear still slipped through. “No, it wasn’t me.”
“Then why won’t you let go? Why won’t you let Luca rest in peace? Don’t you think that’s the least you could do? Don’t you think you should let go of your guilt and set him free? You’re the one still holding him, and not the other way around.”
Another tear slipped through. And another. I was really sick of crying at this point. I’m sure my eyes felt the same way.
“So what do I do?” I asked in a whisper, my voice thick with tears.
“It won’t be easy to let go just like that, so as I said earlier, positively think of yourself. Create that mentality that you deserve to be happy. Try to create new memories, happy ones, and slowly, you’ll be able to let go of the past. Try to find love again, Belladonna.”
I was dragged to the present and I realized Gianna was still waiting for an answer.
“She said I should try to find love again,” I answered softly.
“That shouldn’t be so hard, right?” Gianna asked in that cool way of hers.
I gave her a look. “Finding love isn’t hard?”
“No, because it’s staring at you right in the face.”
She paused. “Or at least it was.”
I sat up, my attention hooked, “What’s supposed to mean?”
“It means I saw the look in his eyes when he left this office three days ago. That look of finality. Look, I don’t stay in your house, but I’ve heard your household calking. The people there have been gossiping about the sounds they have heard from both your rooms”
I said nothing and she didn’t go deeper. We both know what she meant by the noise that they’ve been hearing
“What does that have to do with any of this?” I asked instead
“I’m getting there. At first, he hated you, yes? He wouldn’t even touch you, but that has changed. I have even noticed that the way he looks and talks to you has changed. I don’t know much about love or affection, but anyone who spends enough time with both of you would notice it in his gaze. I can’t speak for him, I can’t say if it’s love or not, but I know that it wouldn’t be hard for you to find love with him. Or that might be a thing of the past now?
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I shot up to my feet, my eyes wide, my heart hammering against my chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
She fixed me with a hard look. “You’re starting to sound like a parrot. But anyway you know what you did to him that day. You know how you broke him, and you know that he’s done. You let him walk away, so I’m sure you know that whatever feelings he had for you are gone.”
I could only stare at her, unable to say anything. Yes, I knew that, but was there really no hope?
I shook my head. “I’m not—”
The telephone buzzed, and my assistant’s voice came through. “Miss Iannelli, you have a visitor.”
My vision suddenly turned red, and I pressed a button on the telephone, almost shouting as I said, “It’s Mrs. Varkas. Do you hear me? Mrs., and not Miss. Varkas and not Iannelli.”
“Y–yes, ma’am. My apologies.”
“Who’s the visitor?” I asked, huffing out a breath.
“It’s Mr. Varkas, ma’am.”
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Sara Lili is a daring romance writer who turns icy landscapes into scenes of fiery passion. She loves crafting hot love stories while embracing the chill of Iceland’s breathtaking cold.
