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Damien stared at me. His eyes went wide for half a second, mouth slightly open. He looked shocked, like I’d slapped him.
I froze, still breathing hard from everything we just did. My heart pounded in my ears. He pulled away fast, scooting back on the bed. “Woah woah.”
I sat up and raked my fingers through my hair. “What?”
He shook his head and swung his legs off the bed. “Don’t do that, don’t mix this with emotions.”
I barely slept all night. I lay there staring at the wall, covers pulled up to my chin, replaying those three stupid words over and over. I love you. Why the hell did I say that? We don’t even know each other that much. He’s barely nice to me. He just fucks me when he needs to mark me. Of course he doesn’t love me back. I must have lost my mind from all the stress and the orgasms and everything.
I tossed and turned until the sky outside turned gray. My eyes burned. My chest felt heavy.
I heard shuffling sounds from his side of the bed. Damien was getting up. I sat up slow and raked my fingers through my messy hair. He was already pulling on his hoodie, back to me.
I forced a little laugh. “Hey… about last night.”
He didn’t turn around. He just kept dressing.
I shifted on the bed and hugged my knees. “I have no idea what I was thinking. I’m sorry. That just came out. It was dumb. I was tired and emotional and… yeah. Sorry.” He finally turned. His face was completely blank. Cold alpha mode again. No warmth. No softness.
He looked at me for half a second then grabbed his boots. “Don’t worry about it.”
I furrowed my eyebrows. “I mean it. I didn’t mean to make things weird. We’re not… like that. I know.”
He sat on the edge of the bed to pull his boots on. “It’s fine.”
I watched him lace them up. My stomach twisted. “You’re not mad?”
He stood up and grabbed his jacket. “No.”
I bit my lip. “Okay. Good. Because I really didn’t…”
“I’ll see you later,” he said, cutting me off. He didn’t even look at me when he said it.
He walked to the door, opened it, and stepped out without another word. The door
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clicked shut behind him.
I sat there alone in the big bed. My hands shook a little as I raked my fingers through my hair again. I stared at the empty spot where he’d been. My eyes stung.
I whispered to the empty room, “Yeah… see you later.”
I pulled the covers back over my head and stayed there, feeling stupid and small and way too much.
I furrowed my eyebrows and shifted on the mattress. “I wasn’t mixing anything. I just said it.”
He stood up and grabbed his boxers from the floor. “You said I love you. After we fucked. That’s mixing it.”
I watched him pull them on. My chest felt tight. “So what? I meant it.”
He turned to me, face cold again. “No. You don’t. This is sex. This is me marking you so you stay safe. That’s it.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “You really think that’s all it is?”
“Yeah,” he said flat. “With everything going on right now, the war, the attacks, the packs moving in, I have no time for that shit. No time for feelings. None.”
I felt my eyes sting. I blinked hard and looked down at the sheets. “So I’m just… what? A body to you?”
He raked his fingers through his hair once. “You’re the mother of my pup. That’s important. But love? That’s not what this is.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You’re really going to stand there and say after everything tonight?”
He nodded once. “Yeah. I am.”
that
I stared at him for a long second. My hands shook a little. I nodded slow. “Okay.”
I turned away from him and moved to the other side of the bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin and faced the wall. My back was to him now. The space between us felt huge.
He stayed standing there for another moment. Then he walked around to his side and got under the covers too. He didn’t touch me. Didn’t say anything else.
I stayed curled up, staring at the
dark wall. My chest hurt bad. I bit my lip hard so I wouldn’t make a sound.
2/3
الم
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