carried across 45

 

45 Wobbly Legs 

Sera 

My mother’s hands were too soft. They felt strange against my skin, like something that didn’t belong in the North. She dabbed a wet linen cloth against my cheek, her fingers trembling so badly she kept missing the dirt. 

The guest room was stifling. She had ordered the Valdris servants to build the fire incredibly high, and the air tasted like dry ash. Two of her maids were unpacking heavy wooden trunks in the corner, their movements stiff and terrified. 

“I cannot believe you are living in a stone room,” my mother said. The heavy silk of her blue dress rustled as she shifted her weight. “It is freezing here. The servants do not even know how to properly heat washing water. They smell like wet dogs.” 

“The water is fine,” I said. 

“We can fix this,” she said, lowering the cloth. It dropped onto the stone floor with a wet slap. “Lord Torin brought gold. A lot of it. We can offer the chief a bribe. We can offer him a southern estate near the coast. Land buys peace, Sera.” 

I pulled my face away from her. I looked at her impractical dress and the frantic, wide-eyed panic in her expression. “I am not bribing anyone.”‘ 

“You cannot fight a northern barbarian,” she pleaded. Her voice went high and thin, echoing off the bare walls. “You are a princess. You are not a soldier. They will kill you.” 

“I am an Ironmaw mate,” I said. The words tasted strange in my mouth, but they were true. “If I bribe her, I prove I am weak. They will never respect me.” 

“Respect does not matter if you are dead!” She grabbed my hands. Her palms were sweating. “Your father needs this alliance. You cannot ruin it over pride. Go to her and apologize. Beg if you have to.” 

I stared at her. I finally saw her clearly. She had survived her whole life by shrinking. She submitted to my father. She smiled when she was told to smile. She stayed quiet when she was told to stay quiet. She wanted me to do the exact same thing because it was the only way she knew how to live. 

“In the South, shrinking keeps you safe,” I said. I pulled my hands out of her grip. “Here, it gets you killed. I am fighting tomorrow. If you cannot stomach it, lock this door and stay inside.” 

I turned and walked out. I didn’t wait for her to start crying. 

Mina fell into step beside me as I walked down the corridor. The cold from the stone floor bled directly through the soles of my boots. We reached my room. I walked inside. Mina followed and closed the heavy oak door. 

The adrenaline vanished. It didn’t fade slowly. It just shut off entirely. 

My knees hit the floorboards with a hard thud. 

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“Sera!” Mina shouted. She grabbed my arm and tried to hold me up, but she wasn’t strong enough. We both went down to the rug. 

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