carried across 90

90 Life Of Butchery 

Sera 

“You look like you spent the entire night rolling in a grave.” 

Mina was sitting cross-legged in the center of my bed when I walked into my room. She held a brushed iron comb in her hand, but she lowered it the second the heavy door clicked shut behind me. She looked at my face, then down at the dirt and dried blood caked onto the knees of my leather pants. 

“Good morning to you too, Mina,” I said. My voice sounded completely hollow. 

I was entirely numb. I had just walked away from a dark, secluded patch of the eastern woods where Fenris, Yvara, and I had watched a man’s headless body burn to ash. I had stood in the freezing snow, feeling the intense heat of the pyre against my face, knowing I was the one who ordered the execution. I had pushed the guilt down so deep into my stomach that it felt like a swallowed stone. I had to. If Kael lived, Fenris would have eventually died. I chose my mate over an elder. 

“Seriously, Sera,” Mina said, her brow furrowing in genuine concern as she uncrossed her legs and slid off the mattress. “Where have you been? You didn’t come back to your room after the feast last night.” 

I walked over to the small washbasin in the corner of the room. I gripped the cold porcelain edges with 

both hands. 

“The Alpha is going to announce it today,” I said, staring down at the stagnant water in the bowl. “We are getting married on the full moon.” 

Mina dropped the iron comb. It clattered loudly against the stone floor. 

“Five days?” Mina gasped. Her eyes went completely wide. A massive, beaming smile broke across her face. She rushed across the room and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me slightly. “Are you serious? Five days! By the gods, the entire pack is going to lose their minds!” 

I forced a tight, exhausted smile. “Yes. Five days.” 

“We have to get the seamstresses immediately,” Mina rambled, her energy completely infectious and entirely overwhelming. “The traditional Luna leathers need to be fitted. We need the deep crimson dye. And the feast-we have to slaughter at least twenty stags for a pack this size. I need to talk to the head cook right now before the hunting parties leave for the day.” 

“Mina, please,” I interrupted, raising a hand to rub my pounding temples. “Just stop for a second. I am exhausted. I just want to sleep.” 

Mina paused. Her smile faded into a look of confusion. “Sleep? Sera, it is barely mid-morning. You slept for a full day yesterday.” 

She tilted her head, her dark eyes narrowing as she looked me up and down again. She took in the messy state of my hair, the heavy flush still lingering on my neck, and the sheer exhaustion vibrating in my 

bones. 

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Her lips slowly curled into a wicked, highly suggestive grin. 

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“Wait a minute,” Mina said, her voice dropping into a teasing whisper. “You weren’t in your bed. You were 

with him.” 

I didn’t answer. I reached for a cloth to wipe my face. 

“You slept in the Alpha’s den,” Mina accused playfully, stepping directly into my line of sight. “Oh you fucking slut!” She exclaimed. “Did you fuck him?” 

My face flushed instantly. The blunt, vulgar question pierced right through the dark, heavy fog of the 

murder. 

My mind violently snapped back to the Great Hall. I felt the rough, splintered wood of the underside of the High Table against my knuckles. I felt the immense, burning heat of Fenris’s massive hand gripping my bare thigh. I remembered the exact, agonizing pressure of his thick thumb pinning my clitoris down while he shoved two fingers deep into my slick, wet cunt. The sheer friction of his calloused skin against my hyper-sensitive flesh had nearly made me scream in front of the entire council. 

Just the memory of it sent a heavy, throbbing pulse straight to my core. I was instantly wet again. 

I snapped out of the memory, swallowing hard. I looked at Mina’s eager, waiting face. 

“No,” I answered, my voice tight and embarrassed. “Nothing happened. We didn’t do anything.” 

Mina threw her head back and laughed loudly. “Right. Absolutely nothing. You just look like you got dragged backward through a briar patch and you can barely keep your eyes open.” 

“I’m serious, Mina,” I muttered, turning away to pull my heavy wool tunic over my head. 

“It’s fine, Sera. You don’t have to give me the dirty details,” Mina said, waving her hand dismissively. She walked over and patted my back. “Anyone who fucks a man that big definitely needs to rest for a week. So, go to sleep. I will handle the seamstresses.” 

I didn’t know how to react to that. I just wanted to be alone. I grabbed her by the shoulders and physically 

turned her toward the door. 

“Out,” I said, pushing her forward. 

“I’m going, I’m going!” Mina laughed, letting me shove her out into the corridor. She turned around just as I grabbed the iron latch. Her face softened, the teasing completely gone. “I am so proud of you, Sera. You are going to be a perfect Luna.” 

“Please don’t,” I whispered, the guilt suddenly clawing at my throat. I pushed the door shut before she could see my eyes water. 

The heavy iron latch clicked into place. 

I stood there for a second. Then, my knees completely unlocked. I slid slowly down the thick oak wood until my ass hit the freezing stone floor. 

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I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face in my arms. The exhaustion finally crashed over me like a collapsed roof. 

It was one heavy, violent morning. Someone was dead. 

Fuck. 

I lifted my head and looked down at my hands. They were clean. I had washed them in the freezing river after we burned the body. But I could still see the phantom stains of Kael’s blood on my skin. I could still 

hear the wet, horrific sound of Fenris snapping the elder’s neck. 

Did I really want this life? 

I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want the violence. I didn’t want the blood. But I wanted the man who stood in the center of it. I wanted Fenris to survive, and in this frozen wasteland, survival meant 

butchery. If I had to carve out Kael’s life to protect my mate, I would do it again. 

I dropped my head back against the door and finally let the darkness pull me under. 

*** 

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