103 Chapter 103 You Already Have
Agony crashed over me in waves. I felt it. His wolf’s pain, a primal howl of despair, tearing through my very being. And his human anguish, raw and devastating, like a physical blow to my heart. It hurt. God, the pain was unbearable. Every cell in my body screamed in protest against the very concept. But despite how it shredded me apart, a broken, furious part of me still didn’t care.
The front door handle felt like it weighed a thousand pounds as I turned it, my body screaming for rest. Every muscle ached as I stepped into the house, desperate for even a moment of silence before I had to collect myself and face whatever waited inside.
He made a sound of complete disbelief, harsh and cutting. In my mind’s eye, I could see his expression, that familiar look of skeptical disdain. “Enough, Seraphina,” he said, his voice rising slightly. “Stop with the constant insecurities. Stop blaming Roxanne for everything that goes wrong.”
“Mommy!” The word burst from his lips as he abandoned his red car, scrambling to his feet with the boundless energy only children possessed.
My mind scrambled for an explanation, any explanation that wouldn’t lead us down this treacherous path. But the way he looked at me, the calculated stillness of his posture, told me he already suspected far more than I was prepared to admit.
He pushed away from the wall, finally moving, taking a step toward me. His face reflected the same agony that lived in my chest, but I refused to soften. “That will never happen,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “I’ve already marked you, Seraphina. You are my true mate. The mate bond cannot be broken.”
“You met with Dorian,” he stated, his voice devoid of emotion. Not a question. A
certainty.
Theo sat on the living room carpet, surrounded by a collection of toy cars, his dark hair falling into his eyes as he concentrated on his play. Despite everything weighing on my soul, seeing him always managed to lift the heaviness from my chest, if only temporarily. His head snapped up, and his entire face transformed with pure joy.
His expression remained granite-hard, unyielding. Those piercing eyes seemed to see straight through me, stripping away every defense I tried to construct. “I’ve been here for over an hour,” he said, his voice carrying a dangerous undertone that made my skin
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prickle. “Searching for you. For over an hour. You vanished without a trace this morning. No one has seen you. We couldn’t even catch your scent anywhere.”
“I don’t understand what you’re asking of me,” he said, his voice barely audible, his eyes wide with confusion that felt either artificial or willfully blind. “It’s difficult to believe Roxanne could be capable of what you’re suggesting”
“I specifically told you,” his voice grew strained, edged with barely restrained fury, “to come to me with any developments. Not to handle things alone. But you went anyway. You met with Dorian, knowing exactly how dangerous he is. He could have destroyed
you.”
“And let me be crystal clear,” I said, my voice dropping to a whisper filled with steel determination. “The only reason I remain in this house is to find my daughter. And because my son deserves to know his father.” I looked directly into his eyes, letting every ounce of my pain and shattered trust show. “I want you to return to Roxanne. And your daughter. Because your loyalty clearly lies with them. You obviously trust them more than me, and I refuse to be with a man who needs proof before he can believe his mate. That kind of relationship is doomed.”
I forced myself to swallow the lump forming in my throat, fighting to maintain some semblance of composure. “Julian,” I managed, keeping my tone carefully neutral. “I didn’t realize you were home already.”
His eyes widened fractionally, surprise or perhaps fear flickering across his features.
The moment he released my hand, I practically fled upstairs, my legs carrying me to the sanctuary of my bedroom. The door closed behind me with a soft click that echoed like thunder in the suffocating quiet. My knees threatened to buckle. My chest tightened until each breath became a conscious effort. I couldn’t face him. Not now. Not with the weight of what I was prepared to sacrifice for my daughter crushing
down on me.
Before I could even attempt to return his infectious smile, a voice cut through the moment like a blade. “Well, well. Look who finally decided to grace us with her
presence.”
I dropped to my knees, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, breathing in his innocent sweetness. “Oh, sweetheart,” I whispered, manufacturing a smile that felt like broken glass on my face. “That sounds absolutely perfect. Let me just clean up for a few minutes first, okay? I’ll be right down.”
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103 Chapter 103 You Already Have
My jaw clenched painfully. There it was. Always the same. He couldn’t believe me. Couldn’t take my word even once. “What I want,” I said, my voice turning arctic, stripped of any warmth, “is for you to trust me. But you’re incapable of that.” I gestured toward the door. “So leave. Now. I have more important matters to handle.”
I laughed, the sound bitter and hollow. “Actually, it can be,” I countered, my eyes boring into his. “Through mate rejection.” The words tasted like poison, but they needed to be spoken. “People say it’s the most excruciating pain a wolf can endure. But I’m prepared to experience it, Julian.” I held his gaze without flinching. “And I hope you’re ready for the same.”
He took another step forward, his hand reaching out, almost touching my arm, but I recoiled. “Seraphina,” he pleaded, his eyes desperate with fear. “I can’t lose you again.”
I felt him settle against the doorframe, his dominance pressing against me like a physical weight.
I turned the shower to its highest setting, letting the water cascade over my fully clothed body. Sinking to the tile floor, I drew my knees against my chest, allowing the scalding water to wash over my hair, my face, hoping it might cleanse away the fear and the terrible choices I was contemplating. I sat there motionless, water streaming around me, trying to drown out the screaming voices in my head.
His presence invaded the bathroom before he even spoke. That familiar scent, that overwhelming aura of power that was uniquely his. Julian. I didn’t move. Didn’t open my eyes. Didn’t acknowledge him in any way. I simply remained there, letting the water pound against my skin, my back turned to him, knowing he stood watching, his energy filling every corner of the small space.
My eyes, still burning from shower water and unshed tears, met his with absolute finality. The truth that emerged surprised even me with its cold certainty. “You already
have.”
His beam could have powered the entire city. “Okay, Mommy! I’ll keep everything
warm!”
All I craved was space to breathe, to quiet the chaos raging in my mind, before picking up the pieces of my shattered day.
“Mommy, guess what! We cooked dinner together!” Theo’s bright voice cut through the tension like sunshine breaking through storm clouds. He grabbed my hand with both of his small ones, bouncing on his toes with excitement. “Daddy taught me how
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to make your favorite! It smells so good!”
Ice flooded my veins. Julian. He was here, waiting, watching. He stood beside the fireplace like a predator, arms folded across his broad chest, his eyes holding all the warmth of a winter storm.
The water began losing its heat, but I remained motionless. “I didn’t tell you,” I finally managed, my voice hoarse from exhaustion, “because you would have dismissed me as paranoid.”
I turned toward the staircase, hoping to escape before this confrontation could spiral completely out of control. “I just needed…”
He had shattered my pride. Demolished my trust. And he would continue doing so repeatedly if I didn’t end this cycle now. This time, I wouldn’t run. This time, I would face it head-on.
That was the breaking point. The final crack in my already fractured composure. My body went rigid as I slowly pushed myself upright, finally turning to meet his gaze head-on. Water streamed down my face, mixing with tears I refused to let him witness. He stood there, still leaning against the doorframe, his eyes burning into mine, his face a mask of frustration and something else I couldn’t identify.
Seraphina’s POV
I remained silent. What purpose would words serve? Lying to him felt impossible, but revealing the truth? Explaining Dorian’s revelations? I lacked the strength, and frankly, he hadn’t earned the right to know. He wouldn’t believe me regardless.
“Because of that exact mindset,” I said, my voice trembling but resolute, “I will never share what Dorian revealed to me. Never. You think I’m paranoid. You think I’m insecure. You think I blame Roxanne for every problem we face. Fine. Believe that.” I stepped closer to him, cold water still clinging to my skin, making me shiver, though the cold wasn’t what made me tremble. “From this moment forward,” I continued, finding strength in my voice, “I will locate my daughter alone.”
But tranquility was nowhere to be found.
Dinner. The thought of sitting across from Julian, pretending normalcy while my world crumbled, made my stomach twist into knots. But Theo deserved better than parents who couldn’t be in the same room without the air crackling with unresolved conflict.
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