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No matter how 3

No matter how 3

CH03

last updatepublish date:2024-11-28 21:28:29

Snow’s P.O.V

 

Today was my birthday and not a single soul knew. 

To them it was just the big night of the mating ceremony and there was excitement in the air, so I closed my eyes and pretended the excitement was for me. Everyone was happy because it was my birthday. 

My fantasy was crushed soon by a slur thrown at me and I snapped my eyes back open, getting back to work– arranging chairs and scrubbing tables. 

Me and the other maids had arrived at the Hallow pack since yesterday and we’ve been busied by so many chores that most of them didn’t have the time to pick on me. Which was good. 

Hours later, I glanced up as the night fell and my lips curled into a big smile. 

The ceremony has begun. 

I quickly ran back into my room and changed into the white dress I’d brought with me. As I ran my hand over the dress, my eyes quickly filled up with tears, burning behind my lids. I couldn’t believe it still smelt like her. if I closed my eyes, I could pretend she was right here, hugging me and telling me loved me. Even though I barely remembered how she looked, I never forgot her soft lavender scent. 

The dress had belonged to my mother and the only thing I was allowed to take on my eighteenth birthday. In my pack, an Omega inherited her mother when she came of age… but well since everyone hated me, I was only allowed to take one thing that had belonged to her. So I chose the white dress, knowing I would need it the next year for the mate ball. 

It was customary for all unmated female Omegas to wear a simple white dress during the ceremony to pay homage to the moon goddess and red moon. But really I think it’s just a way for alphas to recognize potential mates. 

Swallowing a huge breath, I ran back out to the townsquare to join the other maids who had also changed to white dresses. 

At this time, Alphas and Lunas soon started arriving, stepping out of sleek cars, dressed in garments that shimmered in the low light. Some of the alphas were unmated and some were mated leaders of powerful packs who always came to events like this. 

Gods, I couldn’t help but stare, wide-eyed at the mated ones. They all moved with such grace, the way they stood so proudly with their lunas, the way they were so sure of themselves. It wasn’t just their scent that made them seem so perfect. It was the certainty in their steps. They knew their place in the world. 

I wanted that. I wanted to feel that. To belong to something…to someone just for tonight. 

A longing so deep it ached, settled in my chest and I continued to inhale the scents of the unmated Alphas who walked past where I stood. Was I acting weird? Probably. But Alpha Liam had refused to scentmark me since I was ten, leaving me stripped of the comfort of a pack Alpha. I was so starved and tempted to shove my nose into the necks of one of the strong alphas moving into the hall so he’d help me feel like pack… 

I think this was exactly what I wanted. Not the actual mate bond. If I could get mated to an Alpha, he would first scent mark me and fill the deep hole in my soul. It didn’t matter if he rejected me later because I knew he would. Nobody wanted a defective Omega, especially one with my history. 

But at least, I would kill myself feeling like I belonged to a pack. Maybe it was fucked up but I didn’t want to die with this gnawing loneliness in my heart. 

The bonfire crackled to life outside, casting golden light over the gathering wolves who chose to remain outside, instead of staying inside the packed hall. 

Music thrummed in the background, a low beat that matched the pounding of my heart. Since I was assigned to serving the wolves outside, I busied myself serving refreshments, weaving through the crowd and keeping my nose on high alert as I waited to smell my mate. 

But as the night dragged on, disappointment settled like a stone in my stomach. 

What was happening? 

Other wolves around were pairing off. Their eyes lighting up with recognition as they smelt their mates. Even some of the maids from my pack found their mates–servants and delta warriors. It was getting close to the time everyone who found their mates would go for a run. 

The pain in my chest grew tighter as I saw them laugh and kiss. Why not me too? 

By midnight, my hope was all gone. The moon had now turned a bright blood red, casting a pink hue over every surface. Gods, I knew what it meant. The ceremony was ending and if you hadn’t found your mate by now, you probably never would. 

I stopped serving drinks as my eyes burned with unshed tears. I just…I needed to step away for a moment, gather my thoughts, but it felt as if everyone outside was staring at me. So I fled into the hall, feeling smaller and smaller as I moved through the party. 

My feet carried me to the far end of the hall, stopping by a table shrouded in darkness. It was the only empty table in the hall and the crowd seemed to avoid it, except for the one man sitting by it. 

His presence hit me like a force and even in the dim light, I could feel the sheer power radiating from him. He was massive, shoulders broad and imposing, the kind of man who didn’t need to speak to command a room. 

I didn’t know why I did it. 

Maybe it was because he was the only one who wasn’t laughing and flirting with a mate. Or maybe the shadows around him felt safe, hidden. I could cry here, unnoticed by the head maid if she came into the hall. 

But I sank into the chair beside him, not daring to look up. My hands clutched at the armrests, knuckles turning white. The tears rolled unchecked down my face and I heaved silently, the pain spilling in quiet sobs. 

I just wanted to feel it. The bond. Just once. I wasn’t asking for forever. Just one night of belonging. One night of feeling something other than emptiness. But even that was too much. 

Why? Why was my life like this? What had I done to deserve this never-ending suffering? I squeezed my eyes shut, biting down on my lip until I tasted blood. 

“You’re bold.” 

The voice cut through the air and it was almost like a crack of lightning. I froze, heart lurching in my chest. 

Slowly, I lifted my gaze, meeting grey eyes that burned with an intensity that stole my breath. His stare was sharp and unnerving as if he could see straight through me. 

“You sit here, crying in my space, without my permission.” his tone was clipped…annoyed. 

I couldn’t speak. Even if I had a voice, I wouldn’t have known what to say. I was too broken to care. 

When I didn’t respond, his clear eyes narrowed and he leaned close to me. “I would ask what was wrong, but I don’t give a shit. Now what do you want? Are you putting on this show to get my attention?” 

His words crashed into what’s left of my heart and I just couldn’t take it any longer. The accusations from everyone. 

With a soundless choked sob, I pushed back from the table, standing on shaky legs. My body trembled as I ran away from the hall, eyes blurry and wet. 

I couldn’t even see in front of me so I wondered how I made it to the maids’ quarters. But once I locked the door behind me, I ran to the drawer and curled my fingers around the vial of wolfsbane. 

This was it. 

My heart thundered in my chest, and I held the vial to my lips, hands shaking. The tears blurred my vision, but I didn’t care. I just wanted it to end. 

Once I drank the wolfsbane, I would slit my wrist with the knife. Since the wolfsbane would absolutely destroy whatever healing abilities my dormant wolf could possess, I would bleed to death and then…peace. 

But before the poison could touch my tongue, the door burst open, slamming against the wall. 

In the next second, a hand shot out, iron-strong, wrenching the vial from my grasp. It hit the floor, shattering, the acrid liquid pooling at my feet. 

I gasped, stumbling back, spinning around to find the intruder but froze when I locked eyes with… 

Grey eyes. 

The man from the shadows. 

I didn’t know whether to be terrified or angry.

No matter how

No matter how

Status: Ongoing

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