carried across 37

37 So Fucked 

Sera 

I stared at him. An inconvenience. That’s all I was. A dead man’s promise he was stuck fulfilling 

Fenris took a long drink, set the mug down, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “So here we are. Two people stuck at the same table who would rather be anywhere else.” 

I didn’t answer. I just looked back at my eggs, feeling small. 

“But that’s not true,” he said. His voice had dropped. It was quieter now, vibrating with that low rumble that made my skin prickle. 

I looked up. He was watching me, his grey eyes fixed on my face with an intensity that made my heart do a stupid, frantic flutter. I hated it. I hated that he could do that to me with just a look. 

Fenris stood up. 

I tensed, my fingers gripping the edge of the table. He walked around the side, his movements slow and deliberate, like a predator stalking through tall grass. He didn’t take his eyes off me, and I couldn’t look away from him. My pulse started climbing, thudding in my ears. The scar on my collarbone began to hum, growing warmer as he got closer. 

He stopped right beside my chair. He didn’t touch me, but I could feel the heat radiating off his body. 

Then, he lowered himself. He crouched down until his face was level with mine. 

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even draw a breath. He was so close I could see the tiny flecks of dark grey in his irises and the rough texture and white patches of his beard. There was a small, jagged scar just above his left eyebrow that I’d never noticed before. 

He smiled, but it wasn’t a kind look. It looked like it hurt. “The universe has a real sick sense of humor,” 

he muttered. 

I couldn’t respond. My brain was short-circuiting from being this close to him. 

“There is nothing I should like about you,” he continued. “All I wanted was to fulfill a duty. Secure the Valdris influence. Strengthen the alliance. It was supposed to be a simple transaction.” He let out a dry, harsh snicker. “But then this mate bond I never asked for snapped into place. Either you’re a witch, or the universe is really into cruel comedies lately.” 

“You-you’re too close,” I whispered. My voice sounded weak, even to my own ears. “You should move.” 

Fenris didn’t move. “You’re soft. And I’m a warrior. You’re Southern. You’re pampered. You’re spoiled.” He moved even closer, his face inches from mine. “Yet here we are.” 

My heart was in my throat. If he moved an inch, our lips would touch. I could feel his hot breath on my skin. I could smell the steak he’d been eating and the scent of woodsmoke that seemed to live in his clothes. It should have been disgusting. It should have made me pull away. 

1/3 

It didn’t. 

Under the table, I twisted my thighs together, needing the friction, needing something to ground me. My whole body was pulled tight like a bowstring about to snap. I wanted him to close the gap. I wanted to feel his mouth on mine. I wanted to reach out and bury my hands in that thick beard. I wanted him to grab me, throw me onto the table, and just tear me open. 

“Sera,” he said. 

I froze. The way he said my name-it was like he was tasting it. Like it was the first time he’d really said it. It sounded heavy. 

“Sera,” he said again, slower this time. Then: “I want to fuck you.” 

My heart stopped. It literally stopped for a heartbeat before restarting with a violent slam against my ribs. I couldn’t break eye contact. I couldn’t speak. The words were just hanging there between us, raw and brutal and completely honest. 

And God help me, I wanted it. I wanted him to draw blood. I wanted him to fuck me until I couldn’t walk, and then I’d have an excuse to skip training tomorrow. 

“Seeing you is torture,” he growled, his voice rough. “Seeing you and being unable to take you is torture.” 

I blinked, that sentence snagging in my head. “What do you mean? Unable to take me?” 

Fenris looked at me, and something in his expression shifted. The heat vanished, replaced by a wall. He closed off instantly. He stood up, stepped back, and walked back to his seat as if he hadn’t just admitted he wanted to ruin me. 

I gasped, air finally rushing back into my lungs. My body felt abandoned. It felt exposed, like someone had stroked my nipples and clit, and then just walked away. I was on the edge, trembling and aching, and he was just sitting there. 

Fenris sat down and picked up his fork. He started eating again. 

I stared at him, my breath coming in short, shallow hitches. My thighs were still pressed tight together. I was thrumming with a level of frustration that made me want to scream. 

“What the fuck was that?” I asked, my voice breathy and ragged. 

Fenris tilted his head, looking at me like I was the one being strange. “What was what?” 

I stared at him. He was serious. He was actually acting like he hadn’t just crouched on the floor and told me he wanted to fuck me. What the hell was wrong with him? 

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t sit here and finish my eggs like my world hadn’t just tilted on its axis. I stood up, my chair scraping harshly against the stone floor. “Fuck this. I’m going to my room.” 

“You aren’t done eating,” Fenris said, not looking up. 

“I’m done,” I spat. “You eat it if you’re so worried about the waste.” 1 

2/3 

+25 Bonus 

Or you can just eat me, a voice whispered in my head. Fuck. I was losing my mind. 

I turned to leave, needing to get out of the room before I did something I’d regret, like climbing into his lap. The door opened before I could reach it. 

A servant stood there, wide-eyed and looking like he wanted to be anywhere else. “Pardon, Alpha. There is a message. It’s urgent.” 

Fenris took the letter, his jaw tightening as he scanned the lines. He looked up at me, and for the first time, there was real tension in his eyes. 

“Your mother is coming,” he said. “She’s accompanying the Valdris representative. They arrive in three days.” 

stopped dead. My mother. The woman who hadn’t said a word while my father traded me away for a 

border alliance. 

Three days. The duel was in four. 

Fenris stood up. “We will talk later.” He walked out, leaving me standing in the middle of the room. 

My body was still humming with a need I couldn’t satisfy, and my mind was reeling. My mother was coming, and I still wanted Fenris to fuck me against the breakfast table. 

I was so fucked. 

P 

Comments