38 SoldÂ
SeraÂ
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I could still feel the heat of his breath on my skin when I reached my door. It was a physical weight, sticking to my lips like honey. My legs felt like they were made of damp straw, shaking with every step I took away from that breakfast table. I leaned my shoulder against the stone wall of the corridor for a second, just to steady the world. He had said he wanted to fuck me. He had said it with the same flat, brutal honesty he used to describe anything. But his eyes didn’t lie. I saw the truth in them.Â
I pushed through my door, my hand slipping on the iron handle.Â
Mina was sitting on the edge of the mattress. She looked up immediately. She had that expectant look on her face, like she was waiting for a report. Then she saw me. Her eyes narrowed and she stood up.Â
“What happened?” she asked.Â
I closed the door. I didn’t turn around. I just leaned my back against the wood and stayed there. My lungs felt too small for the air in the room.Â
Mina walked toward me, her boots clicking softly on the floor. “Sera? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Did you fight with him again?”Â
I let out a short, jagged laugh. I wish. “My mother is coming,” I said.Â
Mina stopped. She frowned, her head tilting to the side. “Your mother? What do you mean?”Â
pushed off the door and walked toward the window. I didn’t look out at the peaks. I just stared at the frost on the glass. “A message came. She’s accompanying the Valdris representative. They arrive in three days.”Â
Mina stayed quiet for a long time. I could hear her breathing behind me. “Is that a good thing?” she finallyÂ
asked.Â
I didn’t answer.Â
“I thought you’d want to see her,” Mina tried again, her voice softer. “Family. Someone from the South. It might be good to have someone who actually knows you here.”Â
I turned around. I looked at her. “You want the honest answer, Mina?”Â
Mina nodded.Â
“I don’t know,” I said. My hands were shaking. I noticed it then and shoved them into the folds of myÂ
tunic.Â
I walked to the bed and sat on the edge. The mattress dipped under me. Mina followed and sat down, leaving a foot of space between us. She didn’t try to touch me. She just sat there, waiting for the wordsÂ
to come out.Â
1/2Â
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“What is she like?” Mina asked.Â
I stared at the floorboards. “She’s soft. Gentle. She’s the kind of woman who cries at everything. When the sun comes out after a storm, she weeps. When a servant’s child is born, she weeps. When I came home from Blackwater, after Kane broke the bond, she held me and cried for a full hour.”Â
“That sounds nice,” Mina said.Â
I shook my head. “It isn’t that simple. It’s never that simple.”Â
Mina didn’t push. She just leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.Â
“She was there,” I continued. My voice felt flat. “She was sitting right next to me when my father announced the marriage to Fenris. She held my hand under the table. I could feel her palm sweating against mine. I looked at her. I was begging her with my eyes to say something. To stop him. To remind him that I was his daughter, not a trade piece.”Â
I stopped. I had to swallow hard to keep the bile down.Â
“And?” Mina asked.Â
“She looked away,” I said. “She didn’t say a word. She just let it happen. She let him sell me to a man everyone called a barbarian.”Â
*** 1Â
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